#idk how to move past and grow up. god i absolutely need to see my therapist again. if she’ll have me

[angelstrawbabie420]

crazy how i have no one

[bratz-kitten]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS [part 5]

�� people with jupiter in the 8th may experience an “abundance” of traumatic experiences throughout life, often relating to death; these are the people who truly feel like everyone they love ends up dying. at their worst, they can become desensitized to death— jupiter is ruled by sagittarius, a sign known for being in denial when in difficult situations in favor of optimism. these natives can pretend like nothing actually happened, or minimize the situation in their head so that they don’t have to face it.

— okay this might be a weird one... like, you know in asoiaf when arya was walking through the streets and was always like “i’m as quiet as a shadow”? that’s literally the energy of someone with planets in the 12th house/chart ruler in the 12th house. these people are so stealthy. they’re able to move so quietly and without anyone noticing, both literally and figuratively. on one hand, they’re very quiet about their plans and ambitions to the point where other people only find out when they’re achieving success over it; on the other hand, they just. don’t like making noise while walking idk bitch you’ll only see me coming when i’m right beside you, i even get paranoid that i’m breathing too loud and that other people will hear 

— people with moon aspecting mars can be incredibly impulsive when they feel hurt or triggered. yall need to be careful with doing things in the heat of the moment that you know you’ll regret later... but in the moment, you feel so hurt that it clouds your rational side. please be more self-aware about this because you may make decisions that will directly affect you for the worse in the future 

— people with leo mars ft. constantly asking you for pictures... about anything. they just wanna SEE LMFAO THEY DON’T CARE WHAT IT IS THEY’RE SEEING. you just got ready to go out? “send pics of your makeup and your full outfit”. you’re waiting in a long boring line to get the covid vaccine? “send pics of the line”. your mom baked cake? “send pics of the cake”. plus they send so many random pictures while texting, it’s their special love language

— having moon conjunct moon/venus in synastry feels insane. you tell them something you’ve been through, and they’re immediately like “that happened with me as well.” it doesn’t even have to be something grand, sometimes just very specific things you thought were particular about you. the amount of understanding that comes with this aspect in synastry can feel very new and intense especially if you’re used to seeing yourself as the “odd one out”, used to feeling isolated in your experiences 

— people with pluto in the 1st house often feel the need to erase “traces” of their existence, for example deleting messages that they sent people, deleting all of their social media posts. they can feel anxious and paranoid about other people having access to their past self, even if the past self in question is from, like. a week ago 

— people with chiron in the water houses (4th/8th/12th) might’ve suffered bullying to the point where they repress their memories. a lot of their memories of their school years may feel foggy if they were bullied in those years

— also. people with chiron in the 8th house may feel as though they’ve been punished for wanting to experience intimacy. it’s like, the people who were supposed to be the closest to them – for example, their sibling or something – were the ones who hurt them the most. 

— people with mercury-neptune aspects and strong pisces/neptune energy in their birth chart might struggle with only remembering things when they’re right in front of them. you should keep things in your peripheral vision to remind you of reality, especially when it comes to feelings— so that you won’t start getting lost inside your own head. like... keep the letters your friends wrote you by your bedside table so you can read them every time your brain starts convincing you that you’re not loved. keep the gifts you’ve been sent on display in your bedroom wall, or sentimental material things that remind you of past happy experiences.

— earth placements and their thing for asmr... omfg. it’s like they’re always looking for things to up their sensory experience/sensitivity. like, earth signs are the ones most connected to worldly experiences so they feel so soothed with the whole asmr experience: just hearing someone gently whispering or tapping on/scratching things calms them down and helps them fall asleep. they love the tingles it’s heaven for them

— moon-saturn aspects might hold and caress themselves while they sleep because their parents never did. yes i woke up and chose violence <3 your secret is NOT safe with me 💋

— while we’re on the topic of sleeping, a majority of the pisces moons i know need to sleep while hugging something, at least a pillow. they can’t just not hug something while they sleep, it’s very instinctive for them. anyways if any pisces moon needs a pillow to hold, i volunteer as tribute 💋

— virgo placements feel sososo soothed by hearing their cats purr. thinking about how my virgo placement friends are always the ones who send me videos of them petting their cats... and then i get soothed by how soothed they feel. it’s a win win situation, if you have virgo placements it’s hereby your duty to send me a video of you petting your cat while they purr. right now. GO

— people with gemini in the 3rd house might have shaky movements of the hands when other people look at them doing things. very specific i know but the third house rules hands and gemini is a sign that has somewhat of an anxious, twitchy quality to it. on the other hand, people with capricorn in the 3rd house (scorpio risings, using whole signs) have the steadiest hands i’ve ever seen lol their movements ooze confidence, these bitches know how to make you feel as thought they know exactly what they’re doing

— people with venus in the 1st house ft. altering their pics with photoshop and hating posting selfies without filters because they never feel like their appearance is good enough. stop it. you don’t need to always look your best and especially not if your ‘best’ isn’t even what you actually look like. also... don’t even think about making self-deprecative jokes about your appearance. next time i find one of yall saying “ahaha im not bad for a 5 without talent” i’m squishing your head between 2 pieces of toast and calling you an idiot sandwich. you’re BEAUTIFUL 

— having venus in the 3rd house in composite with someone? do you mean calling each other the absolute ugliest nicknames in the most endearing way? 

— leo deals with themes of the ego, and it seems that leo placements often struggle with attracting narcissistic people into their life... leo suns/mercuries can be raised by loud, overbearing, narcissistic parents who see their kid as an extension of themselves and who teach the kid to always be very supportive and caring towards them or else they’ll deny them of words of affirmation-- either by insulting them to shatter their self-esteem or simply never complimenting the kid back. leo moons/mars/venus tend to attract narcissistic partners who only care about serving their own emotional needs and ignore the ones of their partner, and who feed off of their supportive and giving nature. which is why leo placements really need to watch out for being gullible, naïve and dismissing the red flags because my god, you be falling for some shady people. 

— people with personal planets in the 12th house/chart ruler in the 12th house might feel like they can’t let go of their past life— they may dream of memories, people or places from another life. it’s like they can’t detach from it, and even if they can’t directly remember their past life, it’s like they feel it in their bones. also, they might’ve felt... estranged from their family ever since childhood; there may have been feelings of being unable to emotionally connect to their (often, distant) parents, and they might’ve even wondered if they were adopted because of how different they felt to the rest of the family. 

— okay so, a thing that people with saturn in the 3rd house need to look out for is mentally checking out of conversations while they’re still happening. these people can detect when they’re being manipulated really fast and their way of dealing with it can be to immediately shut down, to grow cold and silent and not even bother answering when you’re expected to respond. and, like, that’s great when someone starts screaming at you or being insulting/trying to coerce you into shit, but take notice if you find yourself shutting your loved ones out as soon as they say anything that triggers you. don’t simply detach from them, communicate what’s wrong

— aries placements, ESPECIALLY aries suns and moons, value generosity so much and they get so turned off by stingy ppl who don’t share with others, especially when others need it. like.. if you’re hanging out in a group with them and someone asks for a bite of your food because they have no money and you say no... espect them to never respect you. ever. 

— people with libra placements use soooo many adjectives to describe things. something can’t just be beautiful, it has to be DIVINE and CELESTIAL and INTOXICATING. they can be so expressive god it’s so fcking funny 

— capricorn placements HATE asking others for advice because they think no one knows better than them (and they’re not wrong, lol). when they truly care for someone, they might ask the person for advice simply as a sign that they respect, trust and value their judgement. even if they don’t plan on taking it LMFAO 

— people with mars in a water sign can have this terrible habit of expecting other people to guess what they want. and then they get passive agressive when you don’t instinctively feel what it is they want... and when you ask them “do you want this?”, they go like “FINALLY. i thought you’d never get there”. stop it. i know that you want people to understand you in a way that transcends words, but you can’t expect people to read your mind and then get disappointed when they don’t, thinking “oh if they loved me that much then they would’ve known that i really want chipotle for dinner :(” GIRL WHAT. COMMUNICATE YOUR NEEDS  

[straighttohellbuddy]

its a hell of a feeling though {Dream}

Sequel to don't threaten me with a good time, but I don't think you necessarily need to have read that to enjoy this.

Summary: A different kind of will-they-or-won't-they. Y/N and Dream's guide to somehow saying nothing while telling the absolute truth, or; How Long Can They Say They Love Each Other Before The World Figures Out It's The Truth?

A/N: 4676 words. this is just fluff. i got florida man speed runner brainrot. i literally cannot stress how this is just TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF. maybe a bit ooc and i am sorry about that. idk if this is good its 5am. as always, i love comments and feedback!!

Warnings: implied nsfw

{ Idiots-To-Lovers 'verse } | { 2 / 4 }

Neither of you tell people, and at first your reasoning is that, well, what is there to say? 'Half of you are right in your intrusive speculation about the physical nature of our relationship and this is our blessing to go on tweeting about us but not @ing us about what you think out sex life is like.' No thanks. What you have right now suits you both fine; clearly close to any outside viewers, a teasing, flirting online relationship that belays a genuine friendship. It was the truth, even if it wasn't the whole truth anymore, it was truth enough for you to both be comfortable. They've been calling you the FlowerDuo well before you'd brought each other flowers, thanks to an incident in the SMP, but even now you've seen a divide, a subsection if you will, tagging RoseDuo that denotes a romantic connotation rather than just platonic. It's popping up more and more... maybe you don't want to say anything because it kind of feels like everyone knows.

And besides, it's much more fun to tease your few friends who do, in fact, know the whole truth.

"Come on George, don't you love me?" Dream teases during a stream; you're alternating between watching George's side of the interaction on your phone, and resting your head on Dream's shoulder to watch him play.

"I don't think I should be answering that, I don't want to step on anyone's toes," he says with a faint, knowing smile - you're endeared, while still attempting to hold in your laughter.

"Sap loves you too, man, he won't be -" Dream plays dumb for all of five seconds before George is rolling his eyes.

"You know that's not who I'm talking about."

"Whose toes are you worried about stepping on?" You finally speak up, voice the picture of innocence. George looks like he's aged ten years hearing your voice come from Dream's end, "also hi, Gogy, love you!" You add, before he's giving a deep sigh in response, simply refusing to say it to either of you now. Pressing your laughter into Dream's shoulder, you're content to remain quiet as the conversation picks up where it had before you'd announced your presence.

It's comfortable, it's familiar; it's where you find yourself feeling at home the most, apart from your own little apartment.

"I'm hanging out with Dream a lot?" You find yourself reading your chat on a chill stream you hold, not too long after you'd actually gotten together. You smile faintly, "well yeah, that's what friends do," you say it with an implied 'duh', ignoring the thirty other questions that pop up about the nature of your relationship. There's a moment where your expression softens as you consider him, consider everything that's happened and the changes that have occurred in the past few weeks, and you feel your heart growing warm.

"I'm just glad he actually puts up with me," you give a faint chuckle, "god knows I can be dense sometimes, but he's... he's..." then you look to the camera, far too aware of how vulnerable you were being, but feeling strangely comfortable with your audience seeing this; your smile brightens, "he's my best friend for a reason, right?"

And your chatter moves on, but you still have that warmth sitting in your chest, only growing stronger when you check your phone and see the message [shut up youre so cute wth] from the man on your mind.

"Come on, don't be shy, tell the class," you're grinning wide and teasing, looking back into your camera knowing he's watching, knowing he can tell what you mean, and moments later you see the same message pop up again, amid the chat's general confusion. You genuinely didn't think it was possible for your smile to get wider. From the outside, it looks like the same dynamic you've always had, always challenging one another, but you both know better. Like this, it feels like before but better, heightened; if he showed up at your apartment like he did from time to time, you knew you wouldn't be able to keep up the ruse of being platonic.

Except, you realise as time goes on, as it gets more apparent how little your relationship has appeared to change to the outside viewers, neither of you want to be the one to admit online that you're together as much as you want to see how far you can push each other and tease each other and speak so honestly and clearly about how you feel before people realise that it's no longer a joke.

That's the thing that's changed the most, you find yourself thinking after you wrap your stream up; there's a giddy rush that comes with challenging him, or getting challenged, because now more than ever there's a chance of a follow through that there wasn't before.

You tweet out asking how many treats you would have to give Patches before you're her favourite, and Sapnap comments that he's still attempting to buy the cat's love with treats with no indication that she's changed favourites, to which Dream's response is incredibly smug. Of course when you jokingly offer to bring back your cat ears and pick Sap as your favourite, Dream just response 'HEY WAIT' before deleting it less than five minutes later. It's chum in the water for the fandom, and you delight in the chaos and fanart that ensues. The number of cat!Y/N fics on AO3 skyrockets.

"Why are all the good fanfic about you and George?" You ask idly one... well it's technically morning now, and you're at the tail end of a stream where you'd been playing flash games. It's one of the rarer times you had Dream sitting in in person; usually you prepared to head to his place to sit in his little office, rather than him in your little studio apartment, potentially risking exposing his identity somehow with your facecam, but he still joined you time and again. You paused for a moment, before he has time to answer, amending, "no, I mean there's some good ones about us, but none I can think of off the top of my head that've broken websites, you know?"

Dream's hidden his whole face in his hands, muffling his laughter at the thought that you've decided to voice.

"I like that you know there's good fanfic of us out there," he surfaces, giving you an endeared, if exasperated look. Your smile widens.

"Of course, but I also don't want to name any because I've seen the author's notes, they don't... they don't want me reading the fics about me, and I don't them scattering and deleting good fics in a panic," you muse, glancing to your chat for a moment, "I like fics about me, hint hint."

"You're relentless," Dream deadpans. Your grin turns sharp.

"I'm a Twitch streamer, there's some level of self-obsession there already -"

"Maybe they just think me and George would be cuter together," he's saying it to get a reaction out of you for your stream, and while you're aware of this, you also don't mind playing into it. When you gasp dramatically, you look at him with betrayal.

"Fine, green boy, you can head home, I'm done being romanced by your clearly unloyal ass for tonight -" while you're ranting, he's grinning off camera, and blows you a kiss, "- go romance Gogy." You tell him, trying to keep your composure.

"You're hot when you're mad," he teases; your throat goes dry.

"Get out of my house." Your resolve is breaking; you're fighting back a smile.

"Come on," his tone is sweet and endeared, "you know I'm kidding, I love you, dude," he tells you, and you squeeze your eyes closed, which may look like you're trying to simmer down your anger, while in reality you both know you're fighting the urge to walk over there and kiss him until you can't breathe.

"And with that, chat," you turn back to your computer, "I think we will end the stream for today -"

"Say it back," he pipes up, and you know that tone all too well, but play dumb anyways, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye.

"Hm?"

"I love you; say it back," his tone is turning earnest, and you swivel to face him properly, expression soft.

"Of course I love you," you've said those words what feels like a million times before to him, so why is he looking at you like that, like he's hearing it for the first time. You duck your gaze, "you're so needy," you joke, but you're heart's not in it, discomfort twinging in your stomach as the words leave you, so you turn back to your monitor, glancing at the chat, "there's your RoseDuo and-slash-or FlowerDuo content for the day, folks," you tell them, still finding yourself feeling abashed.

The moment the stream's over, an apology comes tumbling from your lips, much to Dream's confusion.

"You're not needy," you clarify, "please don't stop asking me to say it back," and then, for good measure, "I do love you."

"I know," he says with a faint laugh, clearly unbothered by what had been weighing on your conscience for the past few minutes.

"Say it back," you murmur with a small smile of your own, and he does, quiet in your cosy studio apartment, beckoning you over to join him.

And when you join him where he's sitting on your bed, curling yourself into his arms and pressing your face into his chest for several long moments, he's quiet, holding you close.

This moment is nothing but the hum of your heater, and the neon glow of your ring light. I love you, say it back, on your head in repeat, I love you I love you I love you, it's all you wanted to say at the time. It feels stupid to pretend otherwise; why play this silly game with your audience when you're practically bursting with the love you feel.

"You know I mean it every time I say it," you mumble against him, and he hums in quiet acknowledgement, "I always have; I've loved you as a friend for years, and now I - dude I cannot believe how lucky I am to tell you I love you and mean it romantically, and I do."

"I know you mean it," his voice is so gentle, so understanding, and you raise your head to meet his gaze, to see his wide, warm smile, "I mean it too; always have and always will."

"I cannot believe there's still people who think we're just friends," you can't help but snicker, your anxious heart finally easing with his assurances. There's still a giddiness that comes with kissing him, even now, still feeling strangely lucky that everything had worked out like this, that everything had lead to you and your best friend in your bed after you finish a stream.

It gets less subtle online, as you ignore and block the people calling you a clout chaser, and you find yourself caring less about the world finding out after actually discussing it with Dream.

"If they find out they find out, it's not like anything's going to change if they realise the shit we say isn't a bit anymore."

It puts you at ease, less worried about slipping up if you're both on the same page about the information potentially getting out -

"The rose?" You laughed on stream once, after people began pointing out the single rose in the background of your shot, "yeah, of course it's from Dream," like it's the most obvious thing in the world, "I think he stole it from someone's front yard for me; he's still intent on romancing me, it seems." You say, tone tinged with amusement, your chat spamming rose emojis, and of course, RoseDuo.

And of course, there's the much-clipped moment from one of Dream's streams where the only thing the audience hears is your faint 'dude' and yawn, before he abruptly mutes for several minutes, only to come back, tone almost forcibly level as he quickly lets everyone know he has to go. Those thirty seconds of silence on his stream are wildly speculated about for the next few days, but both of you will stay quiet on the matter. In the present, from where you're leaning against the doorframe, freshly showered and wearing shorts and your oversized version of his hoodie, you can't help but grin. All you'd asked was if he wanted to come to bed.

Even your friends, both those who are aware and those who aren't, end up playing into it, playing into your perceived dynamic -

"Wait, am I on loudspeaker?" Tommy asks while you're filming for one of his main-channel videos. You're currently abusing the ability he's granted you with this latest mod, shooting lasers from your eyes, and only vaguely paying attention.

"What in the hell do you mean, Tommy?" Wilbur cuts in, confused but humouring him.

"I mean," Tommy said pointedly, "that I'm not talking to the rest of you, I'm wondering if I'll need to end up crediting- " and he struggles for a moment, a hint of a laugh in his voice, "world record speed-runner, Y/N's boy-toy streaming buddy, in this video."

"Y/N's what?!" Charlie wheezes, as the others all break out into laughter. You can't even stop yourself from grinning, gaze flicking to Dream, laying on your floor out of view of your camera, scrolling through his phone, blissfully unaware of what was happening in your headphones.

"Y/N's boy-toy," Wilbur clarifies as seriously as he could muster; you can practically picture him fighting back laughter, and you wonder if this will make the final cut of the video.

"Boy-toy streaming buddy," Tommy clarifies further, pointedly, "and I'll ask again, am I on speaker, Y/N?"

"Well, no," you finally concede, "you're in my headphones, and the boy toy is laying on my floor doing- babe," you take one of your headphones off your ear, and Dream looks up, blinking like he'd surfaced from a trance at your call, "you still on Twitter?"

"I found an article about tropical fish - wait, what'd you call me?"

In your ear, you're hearing the others squawk both 'babe' and 'boy toy' in varying states of hysterics, while you yourself reiterate both nicknames, asking which he was referring to, trying to play innocent. Then, before Dream can properly answer, you turn back to your monitor to roll your eyes as you hear Tommy in your ears again, and so you tell him;

"Then edit this part out if you don't want to credit him, it's my apartment, you can't tell him to piss off."

While Dream props himself up on his elbows, eyes wide and disbelieving.

"Did that little weasel call me your boy-toy?"

"Yeah, but is he wrong?" The grin you throw over your shoulder at him is all teeth.

The day the video drops, with the whole bit included - with both your's and Dream's approval, of course - is the day you read the tweet from a fan [every single day the Y/NWasTaken/RoseDuo conspiracy becomes less of a conspiracy. y/n and dream both owe me financial compensation for the emotional stress they're putting me under] and then replying to themselves with [raise your hand if you've ever been personally victimised by RoseDuo]. The reason the tweets had come up on your timeline at all was because Sapnap had replied with a raised hand emoji. You screenshot the whole encounter and text it to him, with 'dude???'.

Instead of any kind of response you'd expect, he asks if he can take a screenshot of your message and tweet it, captioning it with something about how he was currently being victimised by the RoseDuo. It's... okay yeah that's pretty funny; you give your blessing.

"For the record," and then, the moment he's posted it, Sapnap opens his bedroom door to actually talk to you where you and Dream are sprawled out on the sofa, watching a documentary, "I like having you around, Y/N, that was all a joke, you know that, right?" And you beam sunnily at him, though he does have an addition, "but the next time I catch you eating my cereal out of the bag I will put you on blast."

Slowly but surely, the others start to ask for clarification on their assumptions, their tone always gentle, always making sure that you knew you didn't have to answer if you didn't want, and never while anyone was live.

"Are you and Dream actually together?" It's Tubbo who asks you first; you know Dream's already had this conversation with Wilbur, and a longsuffering George who had been aware since the beginning. You pause for a moment where you'd been chopping down a tree in-game.

"Yeah," it feels good to admit out loud, and there's a long silence that follows.

"Really? For real?" Tommy pipes up.

"Really truly," you find yourself nodding, tone sincere, "for a few months now."

"Good on you," Tommy tells you with a sincerity of his own, which you quietly appreciate.

"I thought so, you two act so cute it's kind of gross," you can tell from Tubbo's fond tone that he's not all that mad, and you can't help but laugh, apologising faintly, "nah," Tubbo says easily, "I'd like an apology if it was all just a joke, but I can't get mad at love."

"That's a strong word, Tubbo," Tommy says carefully, but you're not shy about your feelings.

"Yeah, but its accurate."

And after your friends find out, their teasing somehow becomes both more and less direct. They're smart about their tone, teasing you both with the truth in a way that makes it seem like a simple joke.

"And where is your lover this fine morning?" Wilbur asks you in a lofty tone after greeting you on the server, to which your expression wrinkles with displeasure. While you were live, you were on your laptop, your setup greatly reduced to little more than the laptop itself and a microphone on a tray table in Dream's study.

"Don't call him my lover, that's such a gross phrase," you mutter, and, from where Dream's at his desk editing he echoes the sentiment, despite not hearing Wilbur's comment that had come through your headphones, only your response.

"Ah, you lover, right by your side-" Wilbur continues with his tone like a Victorian gentleman, and you flatly tell him that it costs zero dollars to shut the fuck up, with an exasperated smile.

"At least they moved on from the boy-toy bit," Dream mutters mostly to himself, though you try and warn him that your mic was still on, but it was too late. Wilbur practically lights up with glee remembering that particular nickname.

The 'joke' becomes known as the honest truth the day you and a few members of the SMP, Dream included, are invited to play Among Us with a few people you're more distantly acquainted with.

It's the afternoon, golden sunlight streaming through the window as you find yourself laying atop his duvet. When you reach up, grasping at nothing in particular, the sunshine, and the moment, is golden. You get another notification on your phone, which is resting gently on your chest, but you ignore it for the time being. Soon you know you'll be logging in to start streaming, you'd brought your laptop for the even, not bothering to head home since you planned to stay the night anyways, but for now you can bask in the sunshine.

"It's a nice day," Dream's voice is gentle, as is his smile as you find yourself pulled from your thoughts and back into the present. He's not looking at the blue sky outside from where he's leaning in the doorframe, he's looking at you, nothing but unguarded affection in his eyes.

"Do we spend to much time inside?" You ask with a grin, and he muses on it for a moment before conceding that, yeah maybe probably. It was a day like today, you muse as he joins you, kicking the door shut behind him and sprawling out on the covers to look up at the dust particles floating through the air in the sunlight; it was a day like today that you'd told him you loved him. You hadn't been able to see his face for the light, maybe it's why you had the confidence at all, maybe it made seeing his smile after your revelation all the better.

"You sure you wanna stay here to stream? I'm happy to stay here if you'd rather the office, or..." he's focused on his hand raised, fingers dancing in the light like yours had been, and when you look at him, it takes him a moment to realise, his words trailing off as he meets your fond gaze, "what?"

"I'm comfy here, I don't mind my setup being a little makeshift," you assured. It seems you're focused on admiring the little things today, entranced watching how his expression shifts to a smile.

"Everything alright in there?" He asks after a few moments of silence, vaguely concerned about how you're just watching him. Even after being called out, you don't look away, though you do find an embarrassed smile curling at the edges of your lips.

"I'm in a sappy mood," you muse.

"You're always in a sappy mood," he teases, and you scrunch up your face; he's right but still.

"And whose fault is that?" You asked, and his grin widened.

"Stop it, you're gonna put me in a sappy mood!" He couldn't help but laugh, a flush creeping up his cheeks as he looked back to the ceiling. There's time enough before the stream starts that you decide to push yourself up from the bed, moving to straddle his hips, turning golden in the sunlight as you brace yourself over him, grinning.

"You know you're the reason I'm like this, take some accountability."

"Oh yeah? And how would you have me do that?" And he reaches out, into the light, fingertips gentle along your cheekbone before he cups your face. You can feel your heart beating hard against your ribs, overwhelmed with the reality that this is your life.

"I can think of a few ways," you murmur, finally leaning in to kiss him; he hums appreciatively in response, smiling against your lips.

When the stream starts, your spirits are high, sitting in front of your laptop at the desk in his room, headphones on, listening to your friends chattering away. You're all waiting for the last few members to show up, shooting the shit as more viewers joined your various streams, milling around the Among Us lobby.

"You streaming from Dream and Sap's place again?" Quackity asks you, which you weren't expecting anyone to realise, and when you make a noise of confusion, he clarifies, "you don't have a facecam," he pointed out, "I usually assume that means you're at their place."

"I just respect their privacy; the world doesn't need my shitty, laptop webcam's view of Dream's bedroom in the background," you clarify easily.

"His bedroom -?!"

"Hey, I offered them the office," Dream cuts in to defend himself, as you explain that you're in separate rooms so you don't mess up each other's streaming audio, and you all hear a derisive snort from Quackity.

"Sure that's why," you could hear his smug little smile as he teases you both, and you very pointedly stay quiet. Sapnap, however, does not have the same restraint, and cackles.

"You're not the one who lives with them," he pointed out, and even without a webcam you're hiding your face in your hands out of embarrassment.

"I thought Y/N lived by themselves," Corpse muses, and you sink further into your seat.

"I do," you speak up, only for Sapnap to snort a laugh.

"Could have fooled me."

"You asshole," Dream himself laughs, and you just let out an embarrassed groan, "I spend just as much time at their apartment as they spend here."

"Yeah, but buddy, if you're at their apartment, then they're not alone;" Sapnap points out, all kinds of smug, "my point's still valid."

"Okay, I'm officially confused," Valkyrae pipes up.

"They're in love, your honor," is how Quackity decides to clarify the situation, and for the barest moment you realise that the line between heavily implied rumour and confirmation is but a gossamer thread.

"Wait, really?" Valkyrae asks, tone endeared, and you confirm as much without really thinking.

"Really really," you say blithely, struck only moments later, as most of the others have gone quiet, what you've said.

And then, surprising the rest of the VC, yourself included, Dream fondly echoing your confirmation.

"Really really."

"I'll allow it," Corpse breaks the silence, unphased, playing along with Quackity's bit, and Dream, sceptical, asks if Corpse actually knew. He hesitates, "I mean, I had my suspicions; I figured you could recreate the photo of you with Y/N as your cat without Y/N actually needing to be there in person to be all cute and cuddly and shit with you," he hesitates, and you press your lips together, bowing your head out of embarrassment, knowing he was definitely right, "but I wouldn't have said anything about it unless it was confirmed, you know?" Then, softer, a little embarrassed himself it seems, "this actually might be the only situation I would ever have to bring up the fact that I paid that close attention..." and then, quiet enough that you almost miss it, "what am I doing with my life?" He snorted a laugh, and the chatter returned as the tension broke.

[ROSETWT HOW DOES IT FEEL TO WIN???]

Over half the fandom's response to the news is, of course, We Knew Already, which didn't surprise you in the slightest. It's a relief to have it out in the open, to not have to dance around it. And okay, it was kind of amusing seeing people go back through your streams together from the past few months, and posting clips with only exclamation marks as they finally heard the truth through your teasing, flirting banter.

"Fuck you," you found yourself muttering out of frustration on stream, trying to beat Dream in the shitty, little flash game you'd found.

"You wish," he snorted, and your pulled from your frustration by a sudden realisation, irritation dissolving with amusement.

"That bit doesn't work anymore," you voice your thought, and he crows with laughter; taking one of your earphones out, you can hear it down the hall.

"Well neither does me answering with 'you have my address', since you're in my house," he pointed out.

"Now how am I going to let you know I'm frustrated at your bullshit-obviously-cheating -"

"Hey! That move was perfectly legal," he countered, "and I dunno, I guess you'll just have to suffer." Ass.

"I cannot fucking believe I'm in love with you, you asshole," you rolled your eyes but couldn't stop smiling.

"But you are~" he practically sang, and the truth of it had the last of your irritation disappearing.

"Shut up," you mumbled, leaning back from your laptop, your fond smile wide and bright. He gave a thoughtful hum.

"Make me," and you didn't need to be told twice, pulling out your earphones and making a beeline for the office, throwing the door open. Dream seems unphased, simply swivelling to face you, grinning up at you from his desk. As you approach him with intent, you muse that maybe you hadn't confirmed your relationship for your followers' benefit; they're quickly coming to learn that the two of you are insufferably cute.

"Yes, can I help you?" Dream asked blithely, head tipped to the side as he looked you over. Leaning in close to him, lips a hairs breadth from his, you reach over to his mouse.

"Don't threaten me with a good time," your mutter, and mute before kissing him hard.

{sequel: lost my mind in a wedding gown}

[taurianskies7]

Let me clear this up for you:

Since no one seems to understand. Time to rant. 

CONCEPT OF KARMA

I absolutely hate how western practitioners have twisted the meaning and bastardised it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not completely rooted in my roots and I’m not an extreme traditionalist but people using the concept of karma by first misunderstanding its foundations and then using it to justify horrendous shit is unbelievable. Which then, leads to people trying to divorce karma from its associations.

Okay, let’s just break it down. Idk how they just reduced Karma as “what goes around, comes around” & treated it like a cause and effect deal, because it isn’t. Using Karma to justify suffering and oppression was NEVER it’s original purpose. Looking through Hinduism & Vedic teachings, Karma is a law that human in the centre of responsibility, in every way, shape and form. There is a reason Karma is tied with Saturn (Shani), the God of Karma, Justice and Retribution, and ANY astrologer can tell you how Saturn operates in similar principal. Karma doesn’t teach people to shut up & suffer because they deserve it. Karma says that the cycles that exist are created by and through humans, their suffering & good fortune accordingly and by virtue, it is in their hands and will alone on how they want to cultivate their actions.

It DOESN’T discount systematic oppression.

It DOESN’T tell you to sit on your hands and suffer because it’s your fault.

It DOESN’T tell you that you’ll get good things after suffering.

What Karma does is present you with the situation of your life, then waits and watches what YOU choose to do with it, how YOU work or manage it. Ultimately, being tied to Saturn, it expects you to take responsibility on creating your own situation.

And no, I’m not saying this in the way that the way people are, and how they’re suffering is because they somehow “were a bad person in their previous life, etc etc”, I’m saying that it acknowledges that people have different situations & personal suffering, yes, a LOT of things in life are fundamentally difficult but you need to understand, the planets or the gods didn’t create suffering on such a global scale, it was ultimately humans/men themselves that perpetuated and continued the cycle of suffering, and it is, ultimately, in our hands to make it better or worse. Karma treats everyone equally this sense, but it is very difficult to understand this if you don’t realise that the concept of Karma is deeply tied with cycles, especially as Hinduism treats time as a cycle itself, and often times people really can’t and don’t have the knowledge of comprehending anything but their own/current life while they’re alive. 

Karma isn’t an immediate slap in the face (unless you have those placements that make it so) as you know, the GOD OF KARMA is literally called the slowest/slow moving planet and is symbolised by a tortoise, the effects of your Karma accumulate and thus it usually manifests in the various cycle of lifes. I understand that western practitioners or those growing up with largely Christian themes/society can’t understand because we don’t have a definite “end”, the only “end” that comes from cycles of reincarnation is through burning the ties of Karma and liberating the soul. There are three types of Karma:

1. Sanchita karma, the sum total of past karmas yet to be resolved. 2. Prarabdha karma, that portion of sanchita karma that is to be experienced in this life. 3. Kriyamana karma, the karma that humans are currently creating, which will bear fruit in future.

There are some things in life you can’t control, there are also things in life that you can control. Karma is a continuous cycle until you achieve moksha, which is the ultimate goal of liberation.

Hinduism/The Vedas has recognised and understood the way the Law of Karma works, that’s one of the main reasons Dharma was made one of the aims of life, the act of good deeds, performing proper responsibilities & personality that ultimately gears you towards attaining (good)karma that will make it easier for you to pursue the other “Purusartha” aka aims of life, and of course, the path towards liberation in general.

From this perspective, we see life as fundamentally connected with everything, including people, action, deeds, nature, planets, the universe etc etc, Karma is just a law that explains one part of such. Astrology has always been one of the main tools used to deeply study the bond between the planets and a human existence (soul & body), one of the main reason Karmic Astrology exists is because the intrinsic ties our existence has with different elements of life, and of course, the soul that has & will be going through everything. Now that you’re in the end of this post, I hope you never misuse the concept of “Karma” because I’m going to arrive there with Saturn to slap a bitch.

[saintobio]

Hi saint! I just wanted to tell you how much i love your story, and it makes me sad to hear you’re having a bad time :( writing should be fun for the author! We’d be so sad if you dropped SY but we’d understand! Take care of yourself! But also while there’s the negative Nancys out there, I’m sure there’s much more positive interactions out there! I include myself! I’ve been having a rough time and reading SN/SY has seriously made my days better event though it’s full of angst haha. Thank you for making a difference to those of us that appreciate your writing, and regardless if I agree with a character or not, they’re YOUR characters who you’ve thought about and created these stories for. And besides the 20k+ word count? I LOVE IT, it sometimes feels like 2k words and not enough 😣

I loved the latest chapter and I heard happier as I believe one of your posts had recommended? I’ve listened to that song before but after reading chapter 8, MY GOD. the song broke my heart 🥲 I understand that y/n told Satoru to move on and utahime was there for him in his lowest times, so it makes sense their relationship evolved to that but I STILL will root for y/n and Satoru be together in the end 😭 “and I thought my heart was detached from all the sunlight of our past” like… this line? I want to believe she still has intense feelings for him, based on this song and all the character interviews but IDK 😭 I’m hoping time apart, being with other people, a coparenting relationship for sachiro will help them grow, heal and find their way back to each other 😍

@ao-minecchi said

ugh my poor saint, all i wanna do is give you the biggest hug ever, i swear. honestly, whatever you choose to do with this series and the future, you have my support 10000000%. I try not to send any asks that may come off as offensive to others, but it really annoys me to see the audacity and absolute ignorance that people can show towards your complex and beautiful writing, and extremely hard work. this is something we get to read FOR FREE, and something you dedicate yourself to all while having a job, and trying to live your personal life, too. i wish i could put my frustration into my words but i’m such a dunce when it comes to that but,i really, really want you to know i’ll always support you. :,) i always look forward to your posts, whatever they may be, or whatever you want to discuss because you’re truly one of my favorite people on tumblr. i hope you know so many of us will always be in your corner and are always here to give you all the extra love and support you may need. sending all my love and support as well. <33 (sorry if this made no sense, my head is so scrambled. T_T)

Anonymous said

i’m sorry that people are making you not want to continue this story! i hate that they can’t comprehend that this story is complex and full of angst with characters who are just as complex and who might not make decisions that would make everything instantly better. but that’s why this story is sooo amazing, bc it’s realistic in the fact that not everything is always going good, some things don’t have a happy ending. it’s a beautiful story! it’s raw, complex, broken but so well written. like if this was a book in a store i would buy it in a heartbeat. hope you don’t let them get to you but if you do decide to stop writing it, i support you 100%. <3

Anonymous said

saint, i beg you not give up on us as your readers. we love what you are writing and through it we would know how sy ending going to be. that one anon who blames you just got no akhlaq. so girl keep doing what you’re doing!!! saint best author <33

Anonymous said

Saint

Some of actually love your work and we love you tbh.. so we need you to prioritize your emotional well-being..♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

@sagekko said

hey saint,

not a question again 😂 sorry for wasting ur time(maybee), but I just wanna say thank u for ur astonishing unparallel creativity, whenever u release a new chapter of sy I prepare myself beforehand to not get a heart attack but u always manage to kill me, give me anxiety for days and make me tear up!!!! im just in awee, u're amazing istg, I talk about how brilliant u are to all of my friends and they're like shut up we get it but i'm like nooo 😂😭 that's not even the half of it, I have more to tell u about herrrr

& I saw that u're thinking of quitting and I just wanted to say that ur work is so special, rare and original, people like to tear others down, I'm sorry if u received any kind of hate🥺 and no matter what decision u'll make, I'll, alongside every other reader of urs; support you 4evaa.

sending u lots of love and positivity 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍.

Anonymous said

tbh is you feel the need to drop SY or put it on hiatus you should. your mental health is more important than a fan fiction. the haters can suck my non-existent dick.

Anonymous said

TO MY FELLOW READERS, this is a friendly reminders that writers/authors are the god of their own work. They write what they want and they get to decide what the characters’ fate CAUSE IT’S THEIR STORY and we’re not to dictate them of what we want them to write just to match our feelings and emotions.

IF YOU DON’T LIKE WHAT’S HAPPENING IN THE STORY OR YOUR EXPECTATIONS OF THE SCENARIOS YOU WANTED DIDN’T HAPPEN THEN DROP IT OR WRITE YOUR OWN.

I’m so pissed. Saint, I love your works huhu please don’t stop writing😭 always take care.

Anonymous said

hey saint! sorry you are feeling bad and frustrated, its totally valid. some of these anons need to realize it is not that deep. they are not yn. as a recommendation turn off the anon option like you did in your main (I saw another reader with this idea) at least just for a few chapters. if you still get this insane hate and stupid asks, you can block the people since they won't be anon

Anonymous said

I some how feel with the influx of bullshit your receiving, that people dropped your story on tiktok or something. The vile things people are spouting even in comments regarding Hime’s infertility is disgusting. In Hime’s case, her infertility isn’t permanent and we all know Gojou has super swimmers. If i knew POS wouldn’t make miscarriage comments, i’d enjoy Hime being pregnant even if it physically sickens me because of pure spite for the people who can’t handle MATURE, fictional works of art.

Anonymous said

Lmao people should really think like a writer.

As a reader I'm bias to certain characters but when I'm in writing mode i have to be neutral and give some "fairness" to all characters. I feel like discussions like these should be among the readers and not directly to you saint.

Anonymous said

To that one anon,

Please just step out for a bit. If you don't like how the story is going right now so much, just get out. You obviously can't handle rising actions. You don't get the point and the meaning behind the events in the story. Just wait for it to end, then read it. Just don't comment anything. It's not even finished yet. You're acting as if the fates of the characters have already been announced. And to accuse the author of being biased, how dare you

Anonymous said

THE AUDACITY OF THAT ANON OH MYGOD! They obviously doesn't understand the story and it's point. Please don't get bothered by people like them Saint. You have lots of supporters who trusts you and we all know that you know what you're doing. Shake them off, Saint. You're doing great.

Anonymous said

To that anon who basically called Saint biased:

what the fuck? we're only in episode 7 why are acting like as if it's already decided for the characters? You think Saint is being biased because Utahime's character got things going her way right now, but do you think it will be like that for the rest of story? The author knows what she's doing, sit down and wait for the story to unfold. y'all frustrating.

Anonymous said

Saint I'm so sorry that some readers get exhausting here 😔 Like yeah I'm mad at Gojohime too, but so was I at Sera&Gojo, Sophia etc... As long as YN gets her justice and happiness at the end I'll keep my sanity 💆🏻‍♀️... People really need to lay back and look forward for YN taking care of things, girl still needs to understand wtf is just happening. I really hope that you'll stop getting asks, that make you uncomfortable. Take care of yourself and thank you for your hard work 🛐🌻💐💓

@femhades said

hello! im so sorry that some anons are making you feel emotionally exhausted. sometimes i do feel annoyed too when you have to repeat your stance again and again, when people disregard the characters development in the series again and again, when people are rude in your asks/comments section and you entertain them anyways again and again. there's nothing much else i can say other than that if you feel that dropping sy would end this mess and make yourself happier, do it. by the end of the day, it's your story and efforts, so why should you listen to other people? there's seriously no reason for you to put your concerns on the back burner. do whatever that makes you happy (: every 50 hateful anons on this blog, there will be another 100 anons that are here to support you and i am one of them.

go read some manhwas, have a good meal and rest. you deserve it the most right now ((:

Anonymous said

They seem to lack reading comprehension… I’m so sorry, Saint. You’ve done an excellent job with this story.

I feel that your DEVOTION is overlooked by these unneeded comments. Your writing is compelling, dimensional and knotty (in the best way possible), the way you layered things attentively. You’ve given so much color and flavor to your work!

You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. You’ve only made smart, considerate decisions.

🤍

Anonymous said

This is for you

Honestly I'm very thankful that you wrote sy and sn I hope you don't drop it. But if you ever feel stressed out you deserve a break at any time you want it's your book your rules. Sn and sy are amazing books and I hope you don't pay attention to all the negativity that you get and of course stay happy and healthy.

I wish you the best and I love your book and thank you for writing it again ❤️❤️❤️

Really this is the only book that's keeping me happy during my depression

(sorry for the bad grammar and spelling mistakes)

hello hello hellooo i’m sorry i can’t respond to everyone but i do appreciate these words of encouragement :’( i’m just very, very disappointed this weekend bc i was rly looking forward to write sy8 and interact w u guys, but the moment i opened my askbox, there’s just so much unnecessary discourse and negativity. i guess it was a cherry on top on an already stressful week and i felt like i had no space to breathe. the fact that some asks i receive are just plain ridiculous too.

ngl it’s been making me think twice abt continuing the series bc i feel like i’m giving u guys my 101% pumping out 15-20k words a chapter and yet some people can be so entitled and ungrateful and just rude. but i know many of u aren’t like that so i guess that’s what’s really keeping me going T^T

[sageinacage]

Hey idk if ur prompts are open, but if they were, would you maybe want to do a Wilbur vs Charlie in who can wreck Tommy better like thing? 👀👀👀

"Friendly" Uno summary: tommy gets a bit too sassy in a game of uno with him, charlie, and wilbur. a/n: i was originally gonna write this in the dsmp but i literally just couldn't figure out how to do it without it being super ooc KSDFSKJ also just pretend charlie came to visit them in the UK LOL warnings: swearing, playful teasing/mocking (they're playing uno its bound to happen BAHAHA /lh) w/c: 1.6k IRL, Platonic

~

“C’mon, give me a green!” Wilbur growled, continuously picking up cards from the middle pile. He and his two friends, Tommy and Charlie, were playing a friendly game of Uno together on the floor of the living room. Well, “friendly.”

“HAH! Aww, poor Wilbyyy, so bad at Unooo…” Tommy cooed, his face painted with the biggest shit-eating grin. Wilbur scoffed, finally putting a green card down. “Tommy, every day you remind me of all my mistakes.” Wilbur jested, smirking at Tommy’s surprised face. “Yeah? Well-”

“Aha, draw four Toms!” Charlie interrupted, Tommy looking down at the middle pile to see a colorful “+4” card right in front of him. After a dramatic groan, the boy drew the cards. “You are horrible to me, Mr. Slimecicle.” Tommy pointed his finger in Charlie’s face, the dirty blonde only shrugged, chuckling at his antics.

Wilbur put down a red card, smiling at Charlie’s huff. “Really, the only color I don’t have?!” He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Don’t be all grumpy, it’s how the game works, yeah?” Wilbur gave a smug smirk, watching his friend reach for the pile to scout for a red card.

After more banter, the game started to move more smoothly… until they decided to start stacking “+2” and “+4” cards. The pile of them now added up to 14, but they still kept going. “Holy shit, this better not end on me!” Wilbur sighed, placing his final card he could stack. “Me neither.” Charlie agreed, placing his last card that could be stacked.

“This game is against me! I swear to god, this is rigged! You’re both cheating.” Tommy cried, huffing to himself while he started to pick up the 18 cards they all stacked up. “Tohohommy!” Wilbur broke into laughter, leaning his head back as high-pitched giggles left him. “We aren’t cheheating, you juhust suhuck.” Charlie snorted up a laugh, patting Tommy’s back as he whined again.

“You two are both big stupid bullies. You should be thankful I’m even playing a little card game with you.” Tommy huffed, making eye contact with Wilbur. “You’re so sassy today, n’awww- don’t tell me someone’s grumpy over just a ‘little’ card game!” Charlie teased, causing Wilbur to smirk at Tommy. “Yeah, are you up past your bedtime?”

“I hate you both so much. I will fight you both and win- at the same time.” The blonde claimed as he slapped a card down with enough force to accidentally push the card pile down. “Baby rage.” Wilbur scoffed, earning a dramatic gasp from Tommy. “I AM NOT A BABY!” He shouted, Wilbur and Charlie breaking into giggles again.

“That’s something a baby would say!”

“CHARLIE.”

Wilbur covered his face, laughter building up from his chest, Charlie following right in his footsteps. Tommy furrowed his eyebrows, grumbling. “You guys are assholes.” He spoke in a more playful tone, indicating that he wasn’t genuinely upset.

“Yeah, are we, Tommy?” Charlie put down his cards, looking at the boy. “Compared to how you’ve been treating us this evening, I don’t think we’re that bad.” Wilbur raised an eyebrow, also placing his cards down. “B- Bullshit! You guys are twats…?” Tommy cowered a bit at their growing smirks, putting his cards down as well.

“Twats, are we?”

“Wilbur, I don’t like his tone.”

Both men stood up, still with suspicious smiles on their faces, causing Tommy to stand up as well. “I d- don’t trust this.” The boy shuddered, backing up until he hit the couch, falling back onto it. “Don’t worry Charlie, I can take care of this.” Wilbur nodded, towering over Tommy.

“No, I think I can do it, I can definitely do it better.” Charlie stood next to him, an innocent smile plastered on his face. “Yeah? Well do you know all his tickle spots? No? That’s what I thought.”

Oh. Oh. So that is what this was about.

“I’m called the tickle monster around here for a reason, Charlie!” Wilbur kept on going, placing a sassy hand on his hip. “You clearly haven’t met me then, yet!” He quipped back, looking down at Tommy; whose face was bright red and a nervous but excited smile on his face.

“Let’s have Tommy answer then. Who’s better at wrecking you, Toms?” Wilbur smirked down at him, the blonde just covering his face. “D’awww, that’s not an answer! Hmm, how about this. Wilbur, we’ll team up and Tommy will answer that question when we’re finished.”

“Deal.”

“Wh- what? Guys… guhUHUYS-!” Bubbly laughter already took over Tommy as Wilburs fingers kneaded his waist. “What’s up? Wha’tcha need?” Charlie chuckled, walking two fingers up his ribcage. What they weren’t expecting was the loud squeal that left Tommy.

“Looks like I already found a tickle spot, Wilbur!” Charlie exclaimed, gently pinching around his top ribs, causing the boy to let out yet another squeal. “Wow, do you want a medal or something?” Wilbur snarked back sarcastically, glaring at the dirty blonde before massaging his thumb into one of Tommy’s hip bones.

“Wiiihihill! NOHOhoho!” Tommy tried to twist left to right, but that damn feeling on his hip bone just wouldn’t secede. Charlie furrowed his eyebrows, seeing that Wilbur was back in the lead. He reached his other hand around and formed it like a claw, and then vibrated it into the other side of his ribcage as he kept up the prodding on the other side.

“CHAHAHARLIE! QUIHIHIT IT!” Tommy absolutely shrieked, unsure whether to attempt to push his hands away from his ribs, or to cover his face and obvious blush was creeping up on his cheeks. “Gotta admit I’m the better tickle monster first!” Charlie giggled, making little ‘tktktktk’ noises right in Tommy’s ear.

“N’awww, Tommy!~ You have just the sweetest giggles, and I know they’re because of me and not the slimy boy, is that right?” Wilbur teased, moving from his hips to the sides of his belly, scribbling his nails over the area. Hiccupy laughter began to emit from the boy, him kicking his legs into the couch behind Wilbur.

“He’s now all hiccupy! That’s so cute!” Charlie exclaimed, grabbing one of Tommy’s flailing arms. He sniggered to himself as Tommy’s laughter turned more high-pitched at the sudden vulnerability, a wide smile on his face nonetheless. “Uh oh, Tommy… someone’s in trouble now!” Charlie teased as he wiggled his fingers over his exposed underarm, not making contact now.

“DohoHOHON’T! WIHILBUR- *snort* HEHELP!” Tommy’s laughter grew an octave at his own snort, shaking his head as Charlie wouldn’t stop the stupid anticipation. “There’s no way I’m helping you, Toms. I mean- unless you say that I’m better at this.” Wilbur smirked, deciding to try a new spot as he turned around, fluttering his nails under Tommy’s knees.

The giggles it made Tommy produce were different. They were more flustered it seemed, almost like Wilbur just found a certain melt spot. “Tommy, you’ve gone all soft now! Let’s change that, shall we?” Charlie chuckled mischievously, his fingers crashing down and lightly scribbling into his underarms.

Feeling both his death spot and melt spot being tickled at the same time was definitely a different feeling. “NOOOHOHO- *hic* PLEHEHEASE!” His voice began to sound slightly strained, so Charlie retracted his hand in response. “Looks like I found your worst spot, eh?” He smiled, but it was more of a fond smile this time- compared to all his evil ones.

“Hmmm, Charlie. What if we worked together, just once?” Wilbur offered, and Charlie gladly nodded. “What do you need from me, boss?” He smiled playfully before Wilbur went in to whisper something into his ear. ‘What were they planning now? My demise?’ Tommy thought curling up on himself.

In one swift movement, Tommy found himself leaning onto Charlie being held in place with one of Charlie’s arms, and Wilbur looming over him with a grin that did not look friendly. It looked quite evil, in all honesty. “You ready, Toms?” Wilbur cooed, wiggling his fingers at the boy. The blonde whined, looking away from him. “N’aww, don’t want to watch the show, Tommy?” Charlie cooed in his ear. Just their words and actions alone made him want to squirm and laugh, and they haven’t even done the tickling yet.

A moment of silence fell onto them, Tommy still looking away, until a big raspberry was blown right beneath his belly button. The boy arched his back, a shriek ripping out from his throat as he weakly pushed at Wilbur’s head; but the stupid sensations just kept on going.

“YOHOHOU WIHI- *wheeze* WIHIHIN! ENOHOHOUGH!” Tommy managed to get out, his laughter nearly going silent. Wilbur sat up, rubbing Tommy’s tummy to help get rid of the tingles that still lurked around. “Who won? I didn’t catch it.” Charlie’s voice was gentle, but it was obvious there was some smugness there.

“Yeah, who won? You never stated a name, Toms!” The taller boy crossed his arms, smirking down at the boy. Tommy just let out a whine and covered his face, cuddling into Charlie as all the tickling wore him out. They both internally cooed at him, finding his snuggly antics so fond and wholesome, because for god's sake- it’s Tommy! You rarely find the boy getting all soft for anyone.

“Let’s just call it a tie, shall we Charlie?”

“Yeah, for now, that is.”

[duskholland]

frat!tom inviting you to one of their ragers and all of his brothers trying to be a wingman for him bc they all know he’s had his eye on you the whole semester 😂 bc your friends would be like since when did you become friends with all these frat bros and you’re like idk what’s going on rn you’d be so confused lmao.

god this is such a cute idea...my heart. cw: alcohol + fluff.

finishing up some frat!tom blurbs !!

*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

The first time it happens, you find it funny. The second, you feel a little uncertain but laugh it off. But the third time you’re approached by one of the fratboys hosting the party and offered a round of the house’s finest drinks, you can’t deny your complete bemusement.

“Since when did you become friends with so many frat bros?” Your friend, Val, whispers, clinging to your arm as one of the men, a shorter lad called Harry, dishes out shots to you and all of your friends. You accept one with a smile before dropping your voice.

“I didn’t,” you mutter. “I don’t understand what’s going on right now.”

You’ve barely done your shot when there’s a presence beside you.

“Y/N! Pleased you could make it.” You turn to see Harrison there, the vice-president of the frat. He’s in a SnapBack and a black T-shirt, smirking widely. “Do you and your friends want to come and play beer pong with us?”

You exchange a glance with Val, who giggles.

“Why not,” you agree.

You’re swept over to the large patio with a few of your friends, and you barely have time to process what’s happening before Harrison is claiming you as his partner and pulling you around to his side of the table. Val stands at the other end, and you watch, confused, as she asks one of the fratboys to partner with her, only for him to agree, look across the table and see you, then immediately shake his head and announce,

“Wait— no, I can’t. Stay here. One second.”

He runs away and Val raises a brow, but before you can speak to her, Harrison is poking at your arm.

“So,” he says, smirking softly. “How are you finding the party, Y/N? Anyone catch your eye?”

You furrow your brows, crossing your arms over your chest as you eye him carefully. You’ve not spent much time with Harrison before. Yes, you’ve been to a few parties together and played some games of truth or dare, but you’ve not developed such a deep connection that would warrant such attention. You find it suspicious.

“It’s a good party,” you agree, “though, I don’t think you guys have ever hosted a bad one.”

Harrison nods, pride reflecting in his eyes. “Well, thanks.” He digs his hands into his pockets. “It’s all Tom. He does all the planning and organising. He’s a great guy.” Harrison nudges you gently. “A really great guy.”

You start to wonder if the reason for your sudden catapult to centre of attention is more straightforward than you’d first thought.

“—Ahh, there he is, actually. What good timing.”

You look across the table, your breath hitching as your eyes fall upon the figure of Tom Holland, president of the frat, and your study partner from english lit. He looks good, wrapped up in a blue flannel and a black t-shirt, with a dark cap resting on his curls. His eyes seek yours out immediately and you raise a hand in greeting, feeling your lips twitch into a soft smile as he walks towards you.

“Y/N, darling!” Tom exclaims, greeting you with a hand on your hip and his lips on your cheek. “You look stunning tonight.” His fingers linger on your waist for a moment before he steps away, and his proximity grants you a deep whiff of his cologne.

“Thank you,” you reply, smiling shyly. “You look good too.”

“Thanks, love.” The tips of his teeth flint white as Tom beams at you. “I wasn’t sure if you’d come tonight. I’m glad you did.”

You tilt your head to the side. “Of course I would,” you say. You’d been overjoyed when he’d extended the invite to you, personally, and invited you and your friends to the biggest rager on campus. “I wanted to see you.”

It’s unclear if he’s blushing, or simply too warm, but you watch as Tom scratches the back of his neck and smiles almost shyly.

“I’m glad.” He clears his throat and his eyes flutter across the table, to where Harrison’s drifted around to stand beside Val. He nudges your arm, his elbow gentle. “Are you ready to win this?”

“Oh hell yeah. I was born ready.”

“That’s my girl.”

You feel your lips pull up, and try not to let him see the thrill that curls down your spine as you hear him speaking so affectionately to you.

The game goes by slowly, and you find yourself wondering how Harrison, usually so irritatingly good at beer pong, misses even the easiest of shots. If you didn’t know any better, you might be tempted to think he was trying to throw the game, yet Tom keeps you too busy to extensively ponder this thought. When you’re not on the receiving end of his smooth praises, you’re both listening to some of the fratbros who linger near, passing off compliment after compliment in Tom’s direction. They hype up almost every part of his person, pointing out, eagerly, and despite Tom’s obvious embarrassment, how good his grades have been, how he’s been learning to cook, how he’s a beast in the gym… Any positive to Tom that could be praised, is, and it leaves you smiling.

Much to your amusement, you end up winning the game. Once you’re suitably buzzed, you wave bye to Val and follow Tom back inside, his hand clinging to yours. You watch, amused, as the crowd seems to part for you, multiple pairs of eyes following you and the way your fingers are linked with Tom’s. Whispers follow you, and you find yourself clinging closer to him, curling your arm around his as you shy into his side.

Tom takes you upstairs. He’d pulled you from the patio whispering about a book he’d borrowed from you a month ago and needed to return, but you know that his intentions go beyond the return of a simple favour.

“This is a nice room,” you say. It’s large, and on the top floor of the frat. It’s also the room that comes without a suite mate, courtesy of Tom’s status as president. There’s a large window set into the wall, a nice double bed, and even an en-suite.

You feel his hand briefly touch you back as Tom moves past you and walks over to his desk. You watch him rummage through a pile of papers and pens, his watch glinting.

“Thank you,” he responds, looking back over his shoulder at you. His thin lips quirk into a smile as he inclines his head towards his bed. “You can sit down if you want.”

You hum as you walk towards the bed, perching on the edge of the mattress with your legs crossed. After a few moments more, Tom releases a noise of triumph and holds up the borrowed book.

“Here you go,” he says, walking over to you. He passes you the book, and you promptly put it down beside you. “Thank you for letting me borrow it.”

“Of course,” you respond. You meet his eyes, getting momentarily lost in his caramel depths. “Hey, could I ask you a question?”

Tom nods, crossing his hands behind his back as he looks at you curiously. “Anything.”

You bite your lip before extending your hand towards him. When he takes it and easily loops your fingers together, you smile.

“Did you have all your frat brothers wingman you tonight?”

Tom hesitates, a hint of embarrassment curling over his face.

“You, uh, noticed that?” He asks, scratching at his neck.

You nod, smirking. “If the never ending supply of shots and compliments weren’t indication enough, Harrison also threw the game so we would win.”

Tom curses softly. “He’s such a twat,” he mutters. “But uh… Yeah, I guess. I just wanted you to have a good time tonight, Y/N. Some of them just took it a bit too far. I’m sorry if they made you feel uncomfortable.”

“They didn’t. I thought it was cute.” You hesitate, your eyes shifting over his face. “I think you’re cute.”

Tom shifts on his feet, seeming to stretch a little straighter as he smirks.

“And I think you’re absolutely gorgeous.” Using the hand intertwined with yours, Tom very gently helps you to your feet. His fingers slip down to your waist, where they rest, touch firm and warm. You like the feeling of being so close to him.

“So… What are you going to do about that?”

You bite your lip as his breath hitches, and then you let him pull you closer. His voice is lower, huskier, and it comes out lightly as his warm breath fans out across your face.

“I’m gonna kiss you,” he declares.

You give him the slightest nod before looping your arms around his neck, and then very slowly, and easily, Tom presses his lips to yours. It’s soft at first—carrying more care than you would’ve expected—but your eyes flutter shut as you enjoy the moment. It builds quickly, spiralling from a tender union of mouths to an intensely hot kiss, burning bright with passion as you feel him nibbling your lower lip. You part your lips, and your fingers dig into his curls as your tongues dance together, the kiss growing hotter and heavier as you curl in closer.

When you break away after a few moments of passionate kissing, you’re breathless but happy. You rest your palms on the flat of his shoulders and sigh contentedly, lips stinging softly.

“Next time you want to get closer to me, you can just ask me, y’know,” you tease. “I quite like spending time with you, Tom.”

His lips brush your cheek, and you feel him squeeze your waist.

“Noted, love.” He pauses for a moment, smirk biting at his lips. “Care to spend some time with me now, darling?”

You wrap your fingers around the top of his shirt and pull him closer, letting your lips brush over his as you smile.

“I think I’d like that very much.”

[sortasirius]

“Inherit the Earth” and the Fakeout

Absolutely genius.  Amazing, iconic, legendary, something only our showrunner Andrew Dabb can pull off.

"But Lilly, the episode was so bad!  It was just the brothers, they didn’t look for Cas and Eileen!”

YES.  THAT IS EXACTLY THE POINT.  THIS WAS A FAKE ENDING, THE END OF THE SEASON, NOT OF THE SERIES.

Let’s get into it.

An empty world.  No one left but Sam, Dean, and Jack.

So Dean ran, he somehow managed to pick himself up off the floor of the dungeon and meet up with Sam and Jack.  That jacket was this silent reminder.  Remember what I’ve been saying, Cas has occupied the negative space all season, this is no exception.

Dean can’t look either of them in the face, he’s doing that thing, where his eyes move everywhere BUT where he should look. 

“I couldn’t save anybody.”

Sam couldn’t save the world and Dean couldn’t save the one person that means the world to him.

“Where’s Cas?”

“Dean?”

I think it’s there, in that pause where Dean tries to push down the emotions, continue the fight, not think about the memories he left in the bunker, that Jack realizes what must have happened. Jack is the only one that knows about the deal, he has to know what Cas not being there must mean.

“He saved me.  Billie was coming after us.  Cas summoned the Empty.  It took her...and took him.  Cas is gone.”

This may shock you, but I am GLAD they didn’t talk about Cas, especially with what happens at the end of the episode.  Cas is allowed to just take up unsaid space.  It’s obvious he’s missing with the way they blocked things, obvious he’s missing here.  This whole “oh well they don’t care about Cas because they didn’t talk about him”?  Malarkey.

“Jack I’m sorry.”

Guilt.  Regret.  Pain.  Dean will carry this with him for the rest of his life.  Not only that he lost Cas, but that Sam lost Cas, that Jack lost Cas.

That SHOT, with the distance between Jack and Sam where Cas is SUPPOSED TO BE, and then a zoom out to...THE WORLD.

Okay, as usual, Bucklemming has the subtlety of a sledgehammer lmao.

Jack crying???  Praying to Cas????  Bruh?????

Also it’s just straight-up frightening for everything around my boy to die he is my baby son.

Also not to point out the incredibly obvious, but Dean starts drinking immediately, and continues drinking throughout the whole episode.  Grief arc 2.0 babey.

“We can what, Dean?  There’s no one left to save!  Everybody’s gone!”

“You can’t just give up.”

“What other choice do we have!”

Idk why, but for Sam, who’s the constant, the one who’s always had hope, through everything, through all these years, when he finally says this, when he finally loses his hope?  It hits the hardest.  Sam is the leader, so not only is he grieving the loss of Eileen, he is a general grieving the loss of his soldiers, his friends, the world that he feels the duty to save.

When they go to meet Chuck, I just can’t get that image of Dean, leaning against the car, handprint still on his jacket, staring at the ground out of my head.  It takes him a few seconds to catch up to Sam, like he’s pulled out of thoughts like deep dark water.  Remember friends, it doesn’t have to be loud to be powerful.

Chuck wearing BLACK?  FEAR.

“That’s right, the whole Cain and Abel thing.  Us dead, whatever.  I’ll kill Sam, Sam’ll kill me, we’ll kill each other.  Okay, you pick.  But first?  You gotta put everything back the way it was.  The people, the birds...Cas.  You gotta bring him back.”

Willing to kill his brother.  Willing to die.  Tears in his eyes, begging God to bring Cas back.

And Chuck?  Chuck doesn’t care about their surrender, he knows he’s already got them beaten.  He cares about their pain, he cares about them suffering, because to him?  That’s the entertainment.  He’s not entertained by their found family, by their happiness, by their joy.  He wants them to suffer, all of them.

“Eternal shame.  Suffering.  And loneliness.”

And he leaves them with just that.  No hope, no family, just the three of them, broken, alone.  Jack locked in his bedroom, Sam trying desperately to make life “normal” again.  And Dean.  Dean who drank so much he passed out on the floor.

He doesn’t feel terrific, he feels like shit, because not only is he dealing with the shame of an empty planet, he’s dealing with the guilt of being back in the place where the Empty took Cas.

This whole thing with the dog was just absolutely heartwrenching shit and if I didn’t hate Chuck before, him snapping Miracle right in front of an already fragile Dean would seal that deal.

I just want everyone to know that this is a Jake Abel stan account.

“Daddy’s boy” is a big insult for my boy Dean to use considering his own past with his trash abusive father but I’ll allow it.

I do think it’s interesting, ending of his arc aside, that Michael is willing to help them now.  What changed?  Sure, he ended up trying to help Chuck, running back to his father, but why get back in the game?  I wonder if it has anything to do with the loss of Adam.  It’s an interesting parallel, a man loses his angel while an angel loses his human.

Everything is so DARK in the Bunker now too, even the lighting is loud.

When I tell you I lost my shit when I saw Cas was calling Dean, when I heard Misha’s voice??  I knew it didn’t make any sense but I didn’t care, I would’ve been one step behind Dean as he sprinted towards the door.

Fuck you, Eugenie.

I mean it’s torture not only to Dean, who looks beyond fucking crushed when it’s damn Lucifer at the door, but for us too.  Who the FUCK wanted Lucifer back?  And to tease Cas???  Garbage.

I mean...fam.  Listen, we know who’s writing this episode, this whole Betty thing is just like blatantly unnecessary but again, Eugenie loves Lucifer, gotta distract her with a shiny toy lmao.

It was cool to see Michael and Lucifer onscreen together.  It was a cool dynamic that we rarely got to see.

The whole episode is just twist after twist.  Listen, it’s their last episode so I guess they needed to fit in a season worth of twists in one episode.

Bye Lucifer.  We know Eugenie can’t bring him back.  Blessings to all.

This scene with Adam is the FOURTH scene where Dean is drinking...big yikes to my guy’s liver.

Here’s the thing about Michael.  He’s a mirror for Dean in season 5.  Loyal to an absent father.  He has never changed, but Dean has.  Dean is able to acknowledge now, the trauma that his father put him through, he was able to move past the need for pleasing him at any cost.  Michael and Chuck?  Are John and Dean, if Dean had never been allowed to grow.  And Chuck proves, like John did, that he would always put his wants (in John’s case “the mission”) over his children.

Also not to beat a dead horse but Michael’s death was also peak Eugenie.

Sam getting to punch Chuck in the face?  Thank you, he deserves that.

Obviously I don’t love any scene of my boys getting brutally beaten.  But what I love, what I will always love about them, is what Chuck hates about them:  they won’t ever give up.  They know they won’t win against him, they don’t even land any hits, but that’s not what matters.  What matters is their controller doesn’t control them anymore, that they really are free.  No matter how hard they get hit, the get back up.  It is their choice to stand up to him, no matter the cost.

The moment where Sam and Dean are supporting each other, covered in blood, and they look God in the face, and they laugh.  That is why I will love them unconditionally for the rest of my life.  That is who they are, they will never cow to the villain, whether that’s Azazel or Alastair or Zachariah or Lucifer or Amara or Death or Metatron or Cain or God.  They will always choose to stand up.

“Why are you smiling?”

“Because.  You lose.”

Chills.  What a line.

And Chuck is left, small, human, no longer a villain, no longer anything.

Gotta be real, woulda been nice to, idk, not see all this essential plot in a flashback, but I know I can only ask so much of Bucklemming.

For Dean to walk away from killing Chuck, right after he’s called him “the ultimate killer” is quite simply the most beautifully heartwrenching thing I could ever ask for.  Because that’s who Dean was under Chuck, that’s who Chuck wanted him to be.

And he would have before:

But he’s heard some things since then, heard some things about how others see him.  Not as the killer, not as a monster, not as angry and broken or his daddy’s blunt instrument:

I’m not saying that Dean doesn’t kill Chuck for Cas.  He doesn’t kill Chuck because he doesn’t think he has to anymore, he doesn’t kill Chuck because he listened to Cas, he took Cas’ words to heart.  He made the choice not to be the killer.

“See that’s not who I am, that’s not who we are.”

And Chuck is angry, because he thought, after everything, even after losing, that he would still know Dean well enough to know that he would kill him.  But Chuck has never really known Dean, he has never understood where he’s really come from.  Cas understood, Sam and Jack understand, but Chuck never did, and writing off Dean as angry and broken is his biggest mistake, because that’s never been Dean.

“It’s not his power anymore.”

And it’s not just his physical power, it’s his power over the story, over the boys that’s the real power taken from him.

For Jack to be the one to bring everyone back, for him to be the hero of the story?  That’s poetic right there.  Now, I will say, I don’t think this story ends with him as God, because for him, the child, to take on this burden, it doesn’t make a ton of sense to me for his arc, but we shall see next week.  It felt pretty tied up, but there’s one major loose end: and that’s Jack seeing Cas again.

“Just you and me, going wherever the story takes us.  Just us.”

“Finally free.”

This doesn’t feel triumphant to me, it doesn’t feel like relief.  It feels like they’ve settled, like this is the best they’re going to get, so they might as well make the best of it, at least they have each other.

For Cas and Jack to be carved into the table?  I cry.

And for the montage, very similar to “Swan Song” to be set to “Runnin on Empty”?  Sorry but that’s just too sus to be ignored.

They packaged this episode as an ending, because for many, it might be.  The season’s story, the season about fighting Chuck is over.  So, you might be asking (or, well, screaming, judging by my replies lol), what’s left?  And that’s a good question, Chuck has been defeated, so what is left?  What’s left is what’s really mattered all season: the relationships that have been crafted over the years.  Dean and Sam’s unhappiness at the end of the episode, where “just you and me” sounded more of a grudging acceptance than anything else, is one of the clues that has to be looked at.  Why didn’t Sam find Eileen, why didn’t Jack bring back Cas?  Those two characters specifically are the ones we need to watch out for.  As I’ve said over and over again, peace, contentment, satisfaction, those don’t come from Sam and Dean on the open road together anymore.  They have a family, more of a family than they did when they started hunting together all those years ago, and that family is what holds them together.  They need each other, of course, but each other isn’t enough anymore.  Sam needs Eileen, Dean needs Cas.  That is where they will find their peace.

This episode, as many written by Bucklemming was sloppy, rushed, packed full of shit, and had little gems that we can talk about forever, but that was the end of the season, and next week?  Andrew Dabb brings us home, where Dean and Sam will finally be able to choose what they want for themselves, and that, my friends, is Eileen and Cas.

[fundy-simp]

Fundy/GN!Reader - Two Days [11,010 words]

Fluff! For this anon! You were lucky enough to join your European friends on their trip to England and in the process you got to meet your wonderful boyfriend Fundy. Oh, you also got to get the wrath of TommyInnit witnessing his friends in a relationship. (/lh I love Tommy) I have so much fluff for this idea guys, I’m going to write some really cheesy bits for this and I’m going to love it >:] Also there’s a very intimate scene in this, not spicy or heated but idk I felt like I should mention it just incase. Ignore the botched plane stuff, lines that are off from the vlog, and the slightly rushed ending, I was getting a little frustrated with how long this was taking <//3 I promise tho I still love the request and I’m very happy I could fill it in a way that I’m at least mostly happy with. Anyways as always please feel free to scroll past if anything about this makes you uncomfortable :)

Your fingers tapped on the arm rest, leg bouncing as you grumbled, how long does it take a plane to land? Immediately you laugh at yourself, it takes a while. You need to calm down, it’s not like your one plane landing away from your closest friends and the man you quite honestly see as the love of your life! Of course not. It’s just a normal first ever trip to England. This is absolutely fine.

...

You’re entirely lying to yourself, your heart feels like it's going to explode as it beats in your ears. Fundy’s going to be there, the man who’s brought you endless hours of joy and smiles. The man who’s pulled you out of countless panic attacks. The man who you’ve had to lovingly bully into making sure he eats and drinks enough. The man who you’ve fallen asleep in call with countless times. The man who all you’ve ever wanted to do to is yank into a kiss and never let go.

Fidgeting with your seatbelt for a second, you groan and you pull your hands up to your face, resting the heel of your palms on your eyes. You all have known each other for months and logically you know it’ll go fine. But your brain isn’t known for listening to logic, or you for the matter, so when anxiety starts to boil in your stomach you’re not surprised. So many things could go wrong you couldn’t even begin to list them.

It took the plane actually touching the ground to land for you to pull your hands off your face and realize you didn’t hear a single thing the pilot just said. Quietly you waited for them to say your good to go as you readjusted your mask. Good god, your fidgeting is starting to annoy you, what are all of your friends going to think? You sigh as you feel the plane finally stop, waiting till you see other people standing up before standing up yourself.

Slowly the passengers started to leave the plane and carefully you followed behind, trying not to get too close per social distancing and all. Nervously you pat your hands on your thighs, waiting patiently while the flight attendant checked your temperature. Once you got the okay you shuffled off the plane, your eyes scanned over everyone in the airport, looking for any of your friends.

After a few scans you finally spotted Wilbur, how it took multiple tries to spot a man who towered over everyone is beyond you, but aside the point. As you started to jog towards him you see Tommy pop up next to him, "Ayyyee y/n!!" he basically yelled and Niki shushed him, whispering something to Tommy before you see him huff. The scene made you smile, he was definitely just as loud as you expected him to be.

“Hey Tommy!” you replied, you’re still anxious but actually seeing your friends in its own way has calmed you down. Once you get over there Niki pulls you into a quick but tight hug before Wilbur flung an arm around your shoulder.

You couldn’t see his smile, thanks to his mask, but you could recognize the way his eyes were crinkled. “Hey, y/n! How was the flight?” he asked as he started walking, pulling you along with him.

“Oh it wasn’t-” You looked around for Fundy, frowning slightly when you didn't find him, “It was okay. Where- Where’s Fundy?” You asked, unconsciously rubbing your knuckles together, you know he wouldn’t lie to you but a lot of previous relationships made an uncomfortable pit grow in your stomach.

Tommy from the other side of Wilbur let out a bark of a laugh, “That dumbass overslept and missed his flight!” he shrugged, “Don’t know why he still bothered getting another flight but he should be here soon.”

“Yeah, he’ll be here. We’re gonna go get your luggage then we’re heading to his terminal.” Will said as he gave your shoulder a couple of pats, “Don’t worry your lover boy will be here soon!” he couldn’t help but laugh at his own lighthearted teasing while you turned red.

You could hear Tommy gasp as Will said the second part, oh god. You guys never told Tommy you were dating, you both managed to keep it under wraps for an upwards of five months. “You and Fundy are dating?!?!” He yelled, earning himself another glare from Niki that he ignored, too lost in his own laugher, “Oh my god, this is gonna be so great! I’m going to make this so awkward.”

Groaning at the sound of Tommy’s ‘I’m definitely causing mayhem and you can’t stop me’ voice, you sigh and pull Wilbur off of you before looping around to Tommy. He was definitely taller than you but that didn’t stop you from hooking your arm around his neck and pulling him down to your level “Tommy. My main man. My good friend. My best bud, if you will... I swear if you ruin anything within the first thirty minutes, I will personally assure we leave you in an alley after 9 pm.” You gave him a stern squint as he just stared at you. After a few seconds and Niki and Wilbur giggling, you give him a noogie before letting him go, “I’m joking, I’m joking! But, seriously, at least thirty minutes.”

Tommy huffed as he ran his hand through his hair a few times, “Bro what the fuck?” He stopped for a moment, seemingly remembering you asked something of him “... Fine. But you owe me one!” He insisted, you just rolled your eyes and agreed.

By now you had all made it to the baggage claim and you carefully looked for your backpack to make sure you didn’t grab someone else’s by mistake. Once you spotted it you quickly ran to grab it before returning to the group who had moved and sat on one of the rows of benches in the middle of the room. You could see Niki mumble something to Wilbur before he nodded, “You guys whispering gossip without me?? God, my own best friends would really hurt me like this huh?” you say dramatically as you pulled your backpack on.

The two immediately shook their heads, “No, no! Of course not, how could we live with ourselves if we did?” Niki replied, her voice sounding just as dramatic as yours. You both cracked into giggles, them falling into her words as she spoke “But anyway, Fundy might be a little longer so we’re just gonna wait here.” she patted the seat next to her and you happily plopped down.

The next ten minutes were filled with Tommy talking about basically anything he could get away with, future video ideas, Dream SMP plot, at one point you're pretty sure he started talking about SMP Earth, but you couldn’t be sure. It was a nice filler conversation, sometimes one of the others would jump in and say something but you just stayed quiet for the most part, stuck in between the weird middle ground of anxious and very, very tired from your trip.

When you accidently started to doze off you felt someone carefully wrap their arms around your shoulders. “Oh, Fundy...” You say quietly, leaning into the touch for a second before almost jumping out of your skin, “Holy shit, hey Fundy.” You said pulling yourself out of his arms before jumping over the bench to tackle him in a hug. “You’re actually here. Oh my god.” you are trying your damnedest not to cry as you finally learn just how comfortable his hugs really are.

Fundy holds onto you a little tighter when he hears little hics come from you, changing his stance just enough to be sure you both don’t fall, “I'm here, y/n. I really, really am.” he said quietly, burying his face in your hair. “I love you so much.” he pulled you away from him, pulled down his mask so he could place down light kisses everywhere on the exposed skin of your face, making you giggle.

“I love you too, dork.” You reply before pulling your own down and tugging him into a kiss, it was a slow one, full of unfamiliarity and so much love. It made your heart flutter more than he already did and you honestly didn’t think that was possible.

When you both pulled apart you were forcibly reminded by Tommy making very exaggerated gagging noises that you two were, in fact, not alone. “My eyes! Wilbur my eyes!! It’s so gross it's blinding me!” The teen jokes, still fake gagging. You and Fundy just rolled your eyes while you pulled your masks back up, neither you expected anything different from him.

Wilbur just sighed and lightly shoved Tommy, “Great job, you lasted almost five minutes, that’s a record I’d say.” Tommy just replied by flipping Wilbur off which sent the whole group into hysterics. He tried to defend himself but all his sentences just devolved into laughs so he gave up. All you can think about is how this is home, laughing so hard with your friends that you cry while you lean on your boyfriend.

Once everyone calmed down Fundy made sure his backpack was on fully before stepping over the bench. Niki let out a laugh as she jokingly scolded him, "The bench really isn’t that long, you could have just walked around, you know?"

Fundy just shrugged, "I mean, y/n just did it! I'm just following their lead!" he said, a shit eating grin on his face that made Niki sigh.

You chuckled as you walked around and the rest of the group got up, "Well, who's hungry? I know y/n hasn't eaten in at least five hours so why don't we go get pizza or something?" Wilbur suggested, fishing his keys outta his pocket.

“Fuck yeah, pizza!!!” Tommy yelled excitedly, quickly stealing Wilbur's keys and sprinting away.

Will stuttered for a second before running off after Tommy, "Motherfucker, not again! Get back here, you aren't even old enough to drive!!"

You, Fundy, and Niki followed after the two, laughing at their antics. Fundy softly entangled your guy's fingers, placing his forehead on the top of your head for a second in place of a kiss. "Oh my God, you guys are already attached at the hip-" Niki said, laughing more, you know it's lighthearted teasing but it still makes you blush.

"Aw, come on Niki! I thought you'd be the one to not tease us!" you said in a joke whiny tone, hiding your face in Fundy's shoulder.

Niki started to laugh harder, "Oh- Oh hell no, this is just the beginning!" she said, you couldn't see her face but you could absolutely hear the devilish grin. You lightly bonk your head on Fundy's shoulder a few times out of embarrassment which caused him to giggle. Oh. That's so much cuter in person, holy shit.

Sighing, you hear Tommy scream making you snap your head in his direction, Wilbur had him by the wrist, wiggling his keys out of his fingers. Tommy let out a loud laugh as he basically sprinted away from Wilbur to the doors of the airport. “Oh, we got outta here faster than I expected....” you mumbled mostly to yourself, watching Tommy fling the door open at full force and quickly close behind him.

“It was probably longer than you think, you were just too distracted by a certain Dutch to realize it.” Wilbur said while he pushed the door open with his shoulder, lingering long enough for the rest of you to walk though.

"Shut your dirty crime mouth, Soot." you say through a groan, you weren't actually mad, of course, but if they were going to be like this this entire trip your pretty sure your just going to stop existing.

Fundy let out a quiet laugh at your behavior before responding to Wilbur, "I don't know, I feel like this is a win for me! I get all of y/n's attention and you called me 'a certain Dutch' instead of other things." he smirked, still laughing a little.

Wilbur snapped his fingers, "Oh yeah! Of course my bad, a certain furry was distracting you y/n!" he said happily, as he directed the group towards his car and Tommy who was basically already there.

"Noooooo!!!" Fundy grumbled as he brought his free hand up to his face.

Tommy stood at the car now, trying to open the front seat door “Shut up furry boy, I want pizza!” he shouted, trying the door again.

A mischievous grin crossed your face as you lifted his hand up near your face, "It's okay babe, I love you even though you're a furry!" you teased him, which made him groan.

"No no no no no! Stop it!!" he pulled his hand out of yours, causing you to frown, before he crossed his arms and stopped in the middle of the parking lot "I'm not a furry and you know it y/n!! My own partner for fucks sake." You could tell from his high pitched voice that he was joking but you still felt a twinge of guilt in your stomach

Carefully you grabbed his wrists and tried to pull his hands from his face but he pulled against you, “Noooo, sweetheart I’m sorry.” You say in a soft voice, now trying to pull his hands away with a good portion of your body weight. “Baaaaabe, please...” you pleaded, you could feel him tense and shuffle his feet to better support your weight, his hands still not moving. “Oh, this is just unfair now!” you say exasperated.

Fundy tried to keep his pouting bit up but quickly broke into a laugh, it was the fox esque laugh he normally did, it still makes your heart flutter “Unfair!? You’re the one supporting, like, all your body weight on me!” You giggle as you start to lean down towards the ground more, making him wobble for a second before steadying out.

“Holy SHIT, I was supposed to make it awkward but you guys are doing a fine job on your own! What the fuck guys?!” Tommy complained. You turned his way to see him grumpily crawling into the back seat of Wilbur’s car, “Now stop being in love, it’s gross and I want pizza!” He shouted as he slammed his door.

You immediately let go of Fundy, almost stumbling to the ground out of embarrassment, “Listen! In my defense this is the first time I’m meeting my boyfriend! I feel like this is warranted.” you said as you got up and made your way over to the car.

“Y/n you’re gonna have to sit in the middle seat, I’m pretty sure the other two tall bastards would die if they sat there.” Wilbur said as he checked everything up at the front.

You shuffled into the middle seat, trying your best to not get into Tommy's bubble too much as Fundy sat down next to you. The drive was relatively short, only about ten minutes, and he felt even shorter when you absentmindedly cuddled into Fundy. He happily wrapped an arm around you as he rested his head on yours.

Tommy tried to complain about being stuck in the back with you two but Wilbur derailed him and got him to go on about their trip to an arcade yesterday. If you’re honest you weren’t paying attention at all but he seemed very excited about his vlog guns and you were glad he was having fun. Sighing, you lean into Fundy just a little more and he hummed quietly, if the car ride was any longer you’re pretty sure you both would have fallen asleep like that.

When Wilbur pulled the car to a stop you both begrudgingly leaned up from each other and everyone filed out of the car. Quickly you guys made your way into the restaurant, you and Fundy ordered your pizza first, just a simple medium where it was half his favorite and half yours. After they handed you your table marker you went and sat down, you and Fundy had your own both while Niki and Wilbur had one near and Tommy sat at a table by himself.

Fundy looked at the table marker in disbelief, “OH- Y/n, y/n. Holy shit, look at what table number we have.” he looks at you, quite literally making the pog face at you, which makes you giggle.

“What is it?” you ask, trying to push your giggles down as he showed you the table marker, it was bright yellow and had 69 written on it, “YOOOOOOOOO!” you said much louder than you meant to, making him break out laughing.

“Guys- Guys, you need to see this.” Fundy insisted as he turned towards the rest of the group, presenting the 69 table marker. Everyone fell into a heavy giggle fit, laughing more at another’s laugh causing a laughing feedback loop.

You bang a fist on the table a few times, struggling to breath, why were you laughing so hard? You had no idea, but man, the serotonin it gave you was wonderful. Eventually you all calmed down, the other three going back to their conversation while you and Fundy finally calm down. Silence grew between you two, it was comfortable but you’d be lying if you didn’t want an excuse to hear your boyfriend’s voice. You dig into your mind, looking for a conversation topic for a few moments before finally finding one. "So how was the plane?" you ask him, absentmindedly putting your hand on the table to tap some random tune.

His eyes flicked to your hand, smiling a little as he recognized the tune, one of Wilbur's songs, "Terrible if I'm honest, I'm unbelievably exhausted but it's okay. I'm here with you so it doesn't bother me at all." he said softly, his eyes full of love.

Blush creeped onto your face, something about him prioritizing you always made you feel warm and fuzzy inside. Before you could reply Tommy spoke up from his table, "That is the worst and cheesiest shit you could have said, you fuckin’ Simp." he was deadpanned for about two seconds before he cracked up in his bark of a laugh.

"And what about it Child Innit? You couldn't talk to someone you were interested in if you tried." Fundy retorted but his words lacked any bite to them, still it made you giggle as you heard Tommy sputter. Your friends bickering has always been the funniest and oddly coziest things.

You stop tapping the table and lean over it to lightly smack his shoulder, "Come on that was just uncalled for!" you say though a laugh, which makes him laugh.

Finally your food gets there and you both dig in, it wasn't until you took the first bite that you realized just how hungry you were. Thanks to that, the pizza didn't last long and soon the space was filled with your friend talking again. Wilbur was asking what to do next, since he really didn't have a plan, Niki suggested they go walk around town to find something to do while Tommy suggested that you all go to Wilbur's and watch Hamilton since he hadn't seen it yet.

A little to your surprise, Wilbur agreed with Tommy, mentioning how Fundy looked like he was ready to drop like a bag of cinder blocks and you had to agree with him. So once you all were fully done, Fundy paid for your pizza, Niki insisted on covering all of them but he wouldn't let her. As you all packed up to get back into the car you watched Fundy slip the table marker into his pocket, putting a finger to his lips while you both giggled. Finally, you all piled back into the car and headed to Wilbur's, which was a much shorter drive than you expected, you were much too used to America's commute times for this.

Once you were they're you all followed Wilbur up to his apartment, carefully you pulled your shoes and mask off before flopping down on his couch and getting comfortable. Fundy followed after you like a lost puppy, a little tell tale of when he got tired is that he got clingy, it was undeniably really cute. Once you sat down he sat down next to you and cuddled into you, wrapping an arm around your waist and craning his neck slightly to rest on your shoulder.

You pulled an arm up to ruffle his hair before turning and placing a soft kiss on the top of his head. He just hummed, stifling a yawn. Pulling your arm down, you turn to Niki who sat on the other end of the couch, "So how have you been Niki?" you ask, it's been a while since your last one on one conversation with her.

"Oh I've been okay!" she said happily, her eyes vaguely watching Tommy and Wilbur fight over the TV remote, "Been thinking about getting into art again, I'm not really sure yet though." she continued, trying not to laugh when she saw Wilbur basically sitting on top of Tommy, remote in hand.

A smile spread across your lips as you also tired not to laugh, mostly not to disturb your almost sleeping lover, "Oh really? That's great to hear!" you say as Tommy curses Wilbur out, insisting that he should have just let him pull Hamilton up, "I think you should go for it, especially if it makes you happy! I bet your fans, especially fanartist, would love it." you encourage her, you didn't interact with the Minecraft Youtuber fan community often, but a hunch told you that you were right.

"Maybe, maybe..." she nodded, it was hard to explain but you could tell she seemed at least a little more sure of herself now. By now Wilbur had let Tommy off of the ground as he pressed play on Hamilton. You've never seen the actual musical but you've heard all the songs enough to know them by heart, whether that was a good thing or not you couldn't tell.

Once the musical started playing the Wilbur and Tommy scrambled to the two recliners on either side of Wilbur's couch, getting comfortable for the long show. You frankly didn't watch it all that much, mostly just listening as you closed your eyes and rested your head on Fundy's. All your movements were deliberate, you were being very careful and highly aware just to make sure you didn't jolt him awake. Not that you were sure he was asleep, but you'd rather be safe than sorry.

You basically spoke it into existence because within the next five minutes you notice his breathing even out and the hand on your hip becomes loose, limp even. You silently curse to yourself as you realize just how badly this is going to hurt his neck. After debating with yourself for what you would call way to long you decide to catch Niki's attention, "Psst, Niki, Nikiiiiii," you say quietly, dragging out the second 'i' till she looks over at you, "would you mind if Fundy rested his feet, well legs- he’s fuckin’ tall- his feet would be more on the arm rest- on you? I don't want him to hurt his neck." you say gesturing to him.

She gives you a quick nod and you lightly shake Fundy's shoulder, "Hey baby, lay your head down in my lap, I don't want you hurting your neck." you whisper, he grumbles some but listens to you. Once his head is in your lap he pulls his legs to his chest and seemingly falls back asleep. Noticing this you look up at Niki and shrug, she shrugs back with a soft smile before turning back to the musical.

Carefully you run your hands through his hair and he unconsciously leans into the touch making you smile. He's a lot more fox-like than he'll ever admit but that's okay, he doesn't need to admit it for it to be cute. With your boyfriend much more comfortable you happily turn your attention to the screen, absentmindedly messing with his hair as you sing along to the songs under your breath.

When the musical ended Tommy let out a loud cheer, which caught everyone off guard and definitely made you jump which in turn made Fundy jump awake. “Oh shit- What happening?” he asked as he sat up and straightened his legs while rubbing his face.

“You passed out during one of the best musicals ever, dickhead.” Tommy replied deadpan and all Fundy replied with was a very confused and tired face. Tommy scoffed and looked away, making you laugh, how and why that boy was always so dramatic you don’t know but it was undoubtedly entertaining.

Shrugging, Fundy leaned over and placed a soft kiss on your cheek, “Hey, babe.” he said, lingering just long enough for you to place a kiss on his cheek back before leaning away again. “So what’s the plan now?” he asked, yawning.

“Well, Niki did suggest we walk around and just look for stuff to do, so why don’t we do that?” Wilbur asked, “Especially since now Fundy’s had a nap and all.” he stood up and stretched, groaning quietly.

Fundy followed after him, much to your surprise, and as he stood up he looped his arm in yours and pulled you up with him. You halfheartedly groan but don't stop him, "I'll be honest I've barely seen the ocean, let alone literally any other country." you mostly mumble, processing just how embarrassing that is to say to a bunch of Europeans.

Tommy shot up from his seat, "You've never seen the ocean??" he basically screams, getting a lighthearted smack from Wilbur, "Guys. Guys. We gotta go to the boardwalk, y/n would love it, it's considered-" he faked gagged, "-romantic."

You roll your eyes but don't argue, slightly leaning on Fundy for a few seconds before you lean up and gently place a kiss on his lips. There was a slight second of surprise on his face before it melted into a lovestruck look as he looked down at you. Your heartbeat was in your throat, that is a look you'll never get used to, a look that says you're the only person in his world, or at least the only one right now.

Before you could kiss him again Niki lightly shoulder checked you, oh shit, when did she get up? "Get your shoes on lovebirds." she said, you looked around to see the other three were basically already to go and scramble away from Fundy, your face going bright red.

You quickly make your way to your shoes, pull them on and put your mask on, and open the door for the others. The other three filed out, Wilbur waiting by the door frame and once you shut the door he locked it. “Aye, y/n, do you mind if I vlog? I’m a vlogger now!” Tommy asked as you all made your way to the street, he dramatically dragged out how he said ‘vlogger’ making you laugh a little harder than you meant to.

“Go for it big man, I don’t care if Fundy doesn’t.” You reply, threading your fingers in Fundy’s while the group starts walking, Tommy and Wilbur leading the group.

Fundy shrugged, “Since y/n’s okay with it, go crazy.” he agreed, Tommy let out a cheer and shoulder checked Wilbur just to mess with him. You can’t help but chuckle, “What’s so funny?” Fundy asks.

Waving your free hand you laugh a little more, “Oh, just seeing Will and Tommy in person reminded me how I thought they were actually brothers before we all got close.”

He looked at the two in question, squinting his eyes for a couple of seconds before he nodded, “Yeah! I see it, they definitely act like it.” he said as they burst out into a Hamilton song, Niki laughing as she joined in. Before you knew it Tommy had pulled out his phone, recording their shenanigans with a bright smile on his face.

It was all really loud and energetic so you and Fundy just quietly watched as the chaos unfolded. Tommy picked random times to start vlogging, catching half conversations and shots of the town. It all felt familiar even though you were the only one who didn’t really stream or do youtube, but it reminds you of when you just chill in their streams, mostly in the background to vibe. After a bit of wandering around you all ended up at a little food stand, getting a small snack before you went onto the boardwalk.

Once you all finished your snacks, Tommy started recording again, “I never know what I should record with these things.” he said, turning to look at Wilbur who just shrugged.

“The trick to making a good vlog is to just record everything, like just go up to people and ask ‘Hey, can I vlog?’“ Wilbur said, talking slightly with his hands.

Tommy groaned, “But then I look like a dickhead-!”

“Not if you ask!” Wilbur insisted, interrupting the teen. “Record your feet as you walk and go up to people and ask them random questions.” he continued, you watched the look on Tommy’s face turn mischievous as he turned the camera to Fundy and you.

“Hey! Fundy! What do you think of women?” Tommy asked, the phone all too close to Fundy. He stumbled for a slight second before pulling up the 69 table marker, barely holding a straight face as he tried to not laugh. “Oh- Oh my god! That is so incredibly offensive. Is that- Is that all women are to you Fundy?” Tommy asked while he cackled, causing everyone else to laugh with him. “Sexist Fundy!! Sexist Fundy and his sexist by association partner!” He joked.

That made you lose your mind, something about being sexist by association was the funniest goddamn thing you’d heard all day. You leaned onto Fundy as you struggled to breathe, instinctively you repeated the joke under your breath as you laughed which somehow sent the group into another laughing fit as Tommy tired to move on with the bit.

Eventually you all dropped the bit and happily spent the next two hours just wandering around the boardwalk and talking about whatever came to mind. Around the hour mark NIki had to leave, giving you all light hugs before she left on her own. The other hour was basically Tommy’s podcast, not that you were complaining, it was nice to listen too as the topics naturally jumped between each other and you did make sure to add your input when you felt like it was needed. It wasn’t until Tommy had gone on a long ramble about the youtube algorithm that you actually started to tune out. You swung your hand that held Fundy’s with a little bit of force, a smile in your eyes as you looked out at the ocean. “Really pretty, huh?” Fundy asked, knocking you out of your thoughts.

“Oh yeah, I’m so used to fields I never thought oceans would look this pretty...” You say quietly before you turn to Fundy and squeeze his hand in yours, “But I’d say you're still the prettiest thing I’ve seen by a long shot!” You whisper to him, your voice soft with adoration as you watch his face go red under his mask.

He quickly looked away from you, ducking his head a little, “Then you should really start investing in mirrors if you think I’m the prettiest thing.” he replied just as quietly, his voice a little unsteady. It was cute to watch him flirt, how he tended to tiptoe the line of stuttering, rarely looking you in the eyes when he said it.

Your face heats up as you tilt your head, “Oh, really?” You ask, “I feel like I nee-” you go to continue before Tommy screams, making you jump and everyone to stop in their tracks. Your head snaps in his direction as his phone starts to ring, which true to his brand his ringtone was able sisters.

The rest of you stayed mostly quiet, absentmindedly you teetered from leg to leg while you tried your best to not eavesdrop on Tommy's conversation. Which was a much harder task than you’d expect, whether Tommy had his call volume all the way up or his dad is where he gets his loud persona from and you could hear his dad say he’d be at Wilbur’s to pick him up in a little under an hour. Tommy said okay and quickly hung up, probably to avoid his dad saying anything that embarrassed him which made you chuckle. He swiped at his phone a few times before holding his phone up near his face, “Okay, we gotta finish this vlog up! Wilbur, it was nice hanging out with you and-” He turned the camera to Fundy, laughing at his annoyed look, “-and sad Fundy.” He turned to the sky in front of you guys.

Quickly, Tommy and Wilbur devolved into banter as they ended the vlog and Fundy drags you to a bench on the side of the boardwalk. “Tommy was right though,” he says quietly and he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you to rest on his shoulder. “the boardwalk is pretty romantic.”

You giggle as you lean into him more, “And you’re pretty cheesy.”

“Oh, so you get to call me the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen, but I don’t get to say that walking on a boardwalk with the love of my life is romantic?” Fundy grumbles but there’s no bite to it.

“Well yeah! That- Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.” You interrupted yourself, finally processing the words he just said, you bring your hands up to his face and cup it lightly, “Fundy- Fundy did you just call me the,” you swallow thickly, it’s not a problem if did, it’s just. You weren’t expecting him to care as much as you did already, multiple past relationships had taught you that you fall too hard and too fast for others to keep up, even if they wanted to. “The love of your life?” your voice drops to a whisper, like you hadn’t been dating for five months already and he could reject you right here, right now.

Fundy couldn’t help the light chuckle that left him and he brought his free hand to rest on one you had on his face, “Of course,” his eyes soften as he watches shock and blush spread across your face, “I had fallen in love with you the first time I heard your voice and I only fall more everyday.” He rubbed his thumb on your hand, you thought you’d pass out with how your heart soared at the lovestruck look he gave you, “Hell, y/n I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen in love with you more every second of this trip.” he moved to kiss the top of your head before remembering the masks and just resting his face in your hair.

Any and all words had completely dropped out of your head, “I… I don’t know how to respond to that…'' You mumbled, moving your hands from his face to wrap your arms around his waist as you bury your face into his body.

He hummed quietly, rubbing your shoulder, “And that’s fine, I already know you love me, don’t worry.” he yawned at the end of his sentence, snuggling into you more as he closed his eyes.

“How are you still tired?” You ask in a mumbe, surprised.

Shrugging, Fundy holds in another yawn, “Maybe you should just stop feeling as comfortable as home does, then maybe I won't be so tired.” He replies, while his words held weight his voice was soft.

Lazily, your gaze fell to the horizon, then to an arguing Wilbur and Tommy, you couldn’t hear them but you could assume they were arguing over something trivial. “Never,” you reply quietly, “if feeling like home to you means I get to hold you in my arms, then I never want to change that. I can deal with a clingy sleepy Funs for the rest of my life, frankly I think it’s cute.” you can feel him tense from embarrassment under you.

He quickly relaxes and grumbles and hides his face in your hair more, “I’m going to never be tired again out of spite now.” he said, mumbled by your hair.

You can help but laugh, your entire body bouncing with it as you replied, “Yeah, sure love. Whatever you say.” As hard as he tried he can’t keep a straight face and he quickly falls into giggling with you. After a bit you both calm down, simply enjoying each other's company while you don’t have any of your friends to, albeit lovingly, bully you. Neither of you are really sure how long you sat there, but before you knew it Wilbur was shaking your shoulder.

“Get up lovebirds or the offer to my guest bedroom is void.” He said in a dead tone, if you couldn’t see him you possibly would have believed him but his eyes said the opposite.

Sighing, you wiggled your way out of Fundy’s arms and tugged him up with you, intertwining your fingers. “Oh nooo! Whatever should we do! Fundy, my love, he’s going to make us sleep outside on this cold Brighton night!” You dramatically lean on him, bringing your hand to your forehead, suppressing a smile as you watched him try not to laugh.

Wilbur smirked as he puffed out his chest and touched it with just his finger tips, “It is all going to plan! Thy shall perish by sunrise!” his voice sounded like a rich british person making it impossible for any of you to keep a straight face, Fundy was the first to double over in laughter, you and Wilbur followed close behind.

Slowly the wheezing calmed down and you all came back to your senses, wide smiles plastered onto your faces, “Wait, did Tommy leave?” You ask, frowning some.

Stretching his arms above his head, Wilbur nodded, “Yeah, his dad picked him up while you and Fundy were having your moment on the bench. He didn’t wanna interrupt you guys.” he shrugs.

You can’t help but grumble, “Damn, I at least wanted to say goodbye to him!”

Reaching over, Wilbur lightly pats your shoulder, “Ey, don’t take it personally. You know he’s a busy guy, plus you know he cares for you.”

Nodding, you lean into Fundy again as you all silently come to the decision to start walking home. It was nice to listen to Fundy and Wilbur ramble on about things together, going from DreamSMP lore, to Wilbur's new album, to Fundy's new plugins, before looping back to music as Wilbur opened his front door. You didn’t really pay attention to what they were saying, just enjoying the noise of their voices.

As you all step in you pull off your shoes and masks, moving into the living room, “You can play my keyboard if you want Fundy.” You hear Wilbur say, visibly perking up at the idea, which Wilbur noticed, snickering as moved further into his house, “Seems like y/n very interested in the idea of you serenading them with your piano skills.”

Now they’re both laughing and you’re pretty sure this is where you sign your will and accept your fate. Quietly grumbling, you bury your face in your free hand, “Both of you shut your ups, I swear to god, I’ll go sleep in the airport.” you threaten, even though you’re all aware that’s an empty threat.

Fundy just laughs, letting go of your hand to wrap an arm around you “All you had to do is ask, you know.” you could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke which only made you blush more. Stupid cute boyfriend and his cute laugh and smiles and kind touches and- You pull your other hand up to your face and drag them down before pull them back up and through your hair.

You looked at Fundy with a loving but exhausted face, “You’re going to be the end of me, you know that right?” You say, only a little exasperated, you can still feel the heat on your face.

He smiled at you, it's warn, genuine, as he replied, “That’s okay, you’ll be the end to me too” he placed a soft kiss on your forehead. Smiling, you snaked your arms around him and pulled him into a kiss as he moved so that his hands so that they rested on your hips. Before you pulled apart you both could hear Wilbur yell something from his bedroom, office? Broffice. Chuckling as you finally did pull apart, Fundy pulled you to the broffice, Wilbur sat in front of his keyboard before noticing you guys and getting up.

He dragged you over with him and sat down, patting the seat for you to sit with him and you did, leaning on him lightly as he played a few short things to get used to the keyboard. It was nice to listen to, the small mistakes made you smile as you watched his hands, “Will, you should tell me where you got this, my keyboard is all wobbly. Makes playing certain songs hell.” he said, starting to play C418 Sweden.

Sighing, you close your eyes, sinking into the music and the warmth of Fundy pressed against you. Fundy switched through songs he knew carefully playing to be sure not to jostle you too much, you’re not sure when it happened but at some point you could hear Wilbur’s guitar. Quietly you hummed along while the two played, in the back of your mind all you could think about was doing this more often. Weekly would be nice, just a bunch of your friends get together and you listen to your boyfriend and best friends play.

Before you knew it Fundy was lightly shaking you awake, “Babe, come on, come with me to our room.” He says quietly. You let out a hum, letting him pull you up and along to your shared room. You hear some shuffling and zipping of bags as you halfheartedly try to rub the sleep out of your eyes. “Here, go change out of your jeans, sleeping in those isn’t exactly comfortable.” he said softly, shoving a pair of sweats and a t-shirt into your arms. You move over to the bed and set them down before stripping to change, which immediately makes Fundy squeak, “WOAH- Woah- I- Hold on!” Fundy stuttered out as he turned around.

You can’t help but giggle as you pull off your shirt, “Why are you so embarrassed? You’re my boyfriend, you know?” you tease him as you slide on the shirt he gave you, the first thing you notice is how big it is, had to be one of his shirts.

You watch him bring his hands to his face, you could see how red his ears were from here, “Well, I mean, yeah but I’m being polite.” He mumbled, ducking his head as he moved his hands to the back of his head.

Pulling off the jeans quickly before slipping on the sweats, you walk over to Fundy and loop your arms around his waist, resting your face on his back. “Okay, Mr. I’m Very Polite and Nice, I’m all changed. It’s time for bed.” You say, tugging him slightly towards the bed. He nodded and pulled himself out of your grasp, headed to the bed as he dragged you along. He flopped down and you soon followed, quickly he shuffled the blanket over you both and pulled you into his chest.

The two of you sat there quietly, relishing in each other's touch as you listened to the other’s heartbeat. It was almost overwhelming how much Fundy felt like home, how his touches brought a sense of calm you didn’t you could get to. It was weird, new, exciting even, in its own way.

Then the fact you were leaving tomorrow hit you like a ton of bricks. Your brain starts to spiral, unconsciously your grip tightens on the front of Fundy’s shirt. You feel like you can’t breathe. Your eyes blur as you feel Fundy grab your hand, steadying it- wait when did you start shaking? He rubbed soft circles on it, his other hand felt grounding on your back as you curled into him just ever so slightly more. Two days wasn't enough. One night wasn't enough. You don't know how you're going to breathe now that you've learned what it feels like to actually have him by your side. "It's not fair." you quietly grumble, the words barely comprehensible.

His grip on your shirt tightens as he places a kiss on the top of your head, "I know, I know babe..." his voice was soft as he spoke, "Let's just enjoy it while we have it."

All you can do is nod, your brain too busy trying to memorize what it felt like to have your head tucked under his chin and your arms around his waist. After a couple of cozy silent minutes Fundy started to hum a tune, you couldn't recognize it but you know he's sung it to you before. You could feel the hums in his chest, the scene felt surreal, like every other part of this day. You didn’t bother stopping the tears that pricked your eyes.

You fell asleep like that, him humming quietly and rubbing calming circles on your back. Trying your best you committed every touch to memory as you slowly faded into sleep, just barely catching Fundy whispering "I love you, y/n." as you feel into one of the most comfortable rests of your life.

When you woke up your arms and legs were entangled with Fundy’s gangly ones, his face softly tucked into the crook of your neck. You didn’t want to move and unless someone had a real good reason you weren’t going to. You’re pretty sure this is what heaven feels like, holding the love of your life close as the sun poked through the half drawn curtains making the whole situation feel all the more unreal. That moment was cut short as Fundy started to wake up, instinctively pulling away from you as he did so. You whine quietly and weakly try to pull him back, after a few seconds he listens and reburies his face in your neck.

The two of you laid there like that for a while, probably around an hour, before you begrudgingly tell him you both should get up. Fundy let out a loud groan as you slipped out of his grasp, you sat up and stretched your arms over your head, looking over at him who now laid with his arms stretched out from his body.

Wait. When did he take his shirt off? Of course you've seen him shirtless before but something about seeing it in person is fundamentally different. It felt so much more, intimate, than before. You hadn't even realized you were staring till Fundy spoke up, a laugh in his words "If your gonna stare might as well touch." his voice was low, still laced with sleep.

"Wh- I- Uh. Well. I mean-" you stutter out, looking away making him laugh more. After a few seconds you look back at him, he didn't move at all, which didn't surprise you. Silently you turn towards him, you glance up at him holding his sleepy gaze as your hand hovered over his waist. He gave you a small encouraging nod and you lightly touched him, his muscles involuntarily tense at your touch, shit your hands were cold weren’t they? You internally cringe at yourself but just as quickly as he tensed, he relaxed, letting out a quiet hum as your hand started to warm.

You felt so dumb, looking at Fundy like you were a child seeing fireworks for the first time holding the same hesitation, even as if you could burn yourself or worse, you could hurt him. Of course, you knew you wouldn’t hurt him but unfamiliarity and anxiety boiled in your stomach no matter how many times you tried to tell yourself it was okay. Looking up at Fundy you can see his face soften, a smile on his lips as he leaves you to your own devices, not wanting to interrupt whatever process you were creating.

Silently grumbling at the lack of direction and you go to place your other hand on him, only to realize just how weirdly you were positioned. You pulled away from him, earning yourself an eyebrow raise from your boyfriend which you just wave your hand at. Carefully you straddle his hips, earning a soft grunt from him but he doesn't stop you, somehow you manage to just completely blank just how close you are as you continue to run your hands over his chest.

Despite how inherently not innocent the scene looked out of context, in context it was the exact opposite. Your movements were filled with both boundless curiosity as you tried to commit the feeling of his soft, pale skin under your hands and endless hesitation as you tried not to do something wrong. "You know, you are really, really handsome..." you say quietly, it's still hard to believe you're actually able to touch him if you're honest.

Softly you cup his face, leaning down and placing soft kisses all over it, making him quietly giggle. Pecking softly at his lips before you moved on to his jaw, then his neck. It was odd, to get to this point of intimacy without there being some sort of sexual motive threw you off, but it was a much welcomed change of pace. Something about leaving light kisses on the neck and collarbone felt different when it was just reassurances of love.

As you sit up away from him he hums quietly, finally awake enough to really process what's happening. After another minute or so he sat up quickly, knocking you off balance and sending you back towards his legs. Before you hit his legs he grabbed your waist, pulling you close, the situation happened so fast that by the time you realized he was fully awake you were already in his arms, both of you giggling messes. Fundy rested his nose in the crook of your neck, you could feel the smile he wore pressed against your skin.

It was a calm and serene scene, one you hope to have again and again and again when you guys can be together more. While you were lost in thought he smirked as he blew a raspberry on your neck, making you let out a loud laugh, "WH- Wait- Hold on! I! Fu-Fundy, what the f-uck??" you struggled to ask through your laughter as he continued to assault your neck with raspberries, moving in between each one.

You pushed against him, trying and failing to get away from his attack. After multiple failed sentences, giggles, and barks of laughter he finally let you go, his face plastered in a smug but still genuinely happy grin. You wanted to ask him what that was all about but air was not being your friend so you just rested your head in his shoulder, struggling to catch your breath.

"I'm sorry, but after I let you pamper me while I was half asleep I thought I'd just keep the train rolling." he said as if he read your mind, his hands resting comfortably on your hips as he placed a kiss on your cheek. "I couldn't resist your laughter, I love it too much!" he said happily.

You let out a quiet defeated sigh, moving so now your cheek rested on his shoulder, your nose nestled in the crook of his neck. "Did Wilbur have plans for us today?" you ask quietly, part of you wished he did but another part of you is completely okay with laying in bed with Fundy till you needed to go to the airport.

Fundy thought for a moment, fingers tapping lightly on your hips, "No idea, honestly." he finally said, shrugging ever so slightly. "I should probably text him." he pulled one of his hands off of you and leaned to grab his phone off the bedside table. He moved his hand to your lower back and he leaned over you to see his phone. Melting into his touch you let out a quiet hum as you placed a hand over his heart, feeling his heartbeat through your fingertips as he typed away on his phone. You two sat like that for a few minutes before he spoke up, “Wilbur said he was gonna go get drinks with Niki, Phil, and Tristin later today, around four pm. We’re free to join but he also understands if you don’t wanna drink before your flight.”

Silently you thought, tapping your fingers lightly on his chest. On one hand it would be nice to chill out with Phil, especially since neither you or Fundy had met with him in person yet. On the other you know you, and if you were hanging around a bunch of people who were drinking you’re going to end up drinking as well. “As much as I hate to say it, I really don’t wanna drink before my flight.” You say sighing, Fundy just nods as he shoots a message back to Wilbur.

“Well since we’re gonna lay in bed all day…” Fundy started as he turned his body and flopped you both down onto your sides, both of you giggling messes. Carefully you moved your hands from his chest to his face, cupping his cheeks softly. “... You know you’re really, really pretty?” he whispered, grabbing one of your hands and placing a soft kiss on your palm.

You sputter and duck your head, trying to hide the blush on your face. “You may have told me one or two times…” You say quietly, mostly as a joke.

His head perks up, “Only once or twice?” He asked, you chuckle and continue the bit nodding. He gasped as he softly makes you look at him, he holds your face as he gives you a serious look, “You’re pretty, you are so goddamn pretty, y/n. I every fucking day think about how you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen. Any time my mind wonders it finds its way to you because- because, you just- y/n you feel like home. Whenever I’m with you, whether that’s in person or in some form of call, I feel like I should pinch myself and remind myself that I’m actually awake.” He stops for a second, taking a few breaths as your face gets redder making him chuckle slightly. “God- I am so in love with you. I- To quote you from last night: You’re going to be the end of me, you know that right?” he finishes his spiel.

You’re on cloud nine. Point blank. “Damn it, how the hell do you always know what to say?” you mumble before you snaked your arms around his neck and connect your lips. It wasn’t heated but it was passionate, full of emotions that didn’t have proper words but still needed to be communicated. Pulling apart you both were panting, only a few microseconds before you started laughing, “We are so cheesy, oh my god.” you say quietly through laughter, he joined you with a large smile on his face.

“Maybe we are cheesy, but we’re cheesy together so who cares.” he replied, placing a soft kiss on your nose.

You laughed harder, fingers messing with his hair by the nape of his neck, “You’re proving my point you fuckin’ nerd!” You basically cackled out, when you looked up the in love look in his eyes almost knocked the breath out of you. You tucked yourself under his chin, hiding your face as a hand still carded through his hair.

You two sat in bed for a few hours, scrolling through different platforms and showing each other funny or cute things. It was nice, cozy even as you fell into a simple routine, every once and a while you’d switch positions and continue with your scrolling. All too soon five pm rolled around and Fundy reluctantly brought it to your attention, “Hey love, your flight’s at eight right?” he asked quietly, you two were spooning, you as the little spoon as his chin was tucked over your shoulder.

Groaning, you nodded, “Yeah it is.” you say quietly, sinking into his touch more.

It was quiet for a few seconds before he continued, “We need to get up..” he slowly pulled away from you, making you whine but inevitably listen. Groggily, you make your way to your bag, pulling out a simple t-shirt and jeans. You stripped and Fundy did the same thing as last night, making you chuckle but you don’t say anything this time.

Once changed you walk over to him and lean up to give him a kiss on the cheek, “How mad do you think Wilbur would be if I made us some breakfast? Well, ‘breakfast’.” You asked, making air quotes around the second breakfast.

He hummed, thinking for a second before shrugging, “Probably not at all, but if he does it was my idea.” he said as he turned around and placed a kiss on your forehead, “I’m gonna shower real fast so just come knock on the door when it’s done.”

You nodded and peeled yourself off of him, making your way to the kitchen. You make some simple eggs and toast, not wanting to use too much food from your friends kitchen and when you finished fifteen minutes later Fundy was walking into the kitchen, “Aw man, you put a shirt on.” you say in faux disappointment.

He sputtered for a second before shaking his head, “We are literally about to leave and go out in public.” he said, grabbing one of the plates from the counter as he looked through the drawers for a fork.

Rolling your eyes, you lightly bump his hip with yours when he finally finds the forks, dropping the subject in favor of some comfortable silence while you both ate. Or at least partially comfortable, the fact of the plane ride still hung in the air, uncommented on but there. Fundy finished before you, placing his plate in the sink and giving you a kiss on the top of your head before heading into the guest bedroom. A few minutes later you finished your own food and you washed the dishes that you guys used, eyes falling to the stove clock: 6:30 pm. Sighing, you placed the dishes into the strainer and made your way to the guest room, “Fuuuns,” you whine more than really say, “we probably should go soon, since I wanna still say bye to Wilbur.”

He jumps at the sound of your voice, zipping up the bag in his hands on instinct, “Oh- Hey y/n!” he said quickly.

You walk over and lean on him as you look at your bag in his hands, “Whatcha up to, big man?” you asked, grabbing the bag from him.

“Oh I just, I wanted to give you something but I thought it’d be better for you to find it when you got home…” he said as you opened your bag up, smiling as you see one of his hoodies folded on the top, “I was just gonna give you one of my hoodies but it didn’t feel special enough, sooo…” he dragged out his words as you pulled out his iconic hoodie, “I gave you the hoodie.” he finished with a large smile.

Your face goes bright red as you pull it on, it smelled like him, like home, you’re too lost in the gesture to notice when Fundy pulled you close and kissed the top of your head. “You’re… You’re.” You didn’t know what words you were trying to find, you knew he loved this hoodie, he wore it all the time even, it felt weird, both very wrong and very right for you to take it, “Are you sure?” you asked quietly.

“Of course,” He hummed, “what better thing to remind you that I love you and that I’m here for you than my favorite hoodie?” you just stuttered in response and nodded, “Plus you look very cute in my clothes.” he said as he leaned away from you before he pulled you into a kiss, it took you a few seconds to kiss him back, the cogs in your brain fighting between stopping entirely and going twice the speed.

When he pulled away from you, you were breathless, “Man. I’m going to die without your kisses, what the hell…” You mumbled as you buried your face into his chest.

“Nooo, don’t die,” he replied dramatically, “if you die then how am I gonna kiss you when you come back?” he jokingly held you tightly, but a small part of you knew it wasn’t a joke, that he fully processed just how much he’s going to miss holding you.

You let out a sigh muffled by his chest, “Well, guess I’ll just live forever.” you said quietly, which made him chuckle slightly. You know it’s a joke but if you could find a way, you would. Just for Fundy. After a few seconds you reluctantly pulled yourself out of his grasp, zipping up the large hoodie before putting the backpack on.

Fundy let out a sigh as he patted his pockets, “Wilbur’s letting me drive you to the airport using his car.” He said as he pulled out Wilbur’s keys, showing them to you.

You nodded before you cupped his face and placed a soft kiss on his lips, “I love you so, so, so goddamn much, Fundy.” you whispered, placing your forehead on his.

“I love you too, y/n. And the distance between us doesn’t change that in the slightest.” he whispered back, his voice slightly shook as he spoke which made your heart hurt. Slowly he pulled away from you, grabbing your hand with his as he dragged you to the door, you both slipped on your shoes and masks before heading out to the car.

The car ride to the pub Wilbur was at with Phil and Kristin was quiet, not a bad quiet but quiet nonetheless. The radio played soft classical music as Fundy carefully drove the car through the town, you can’t tell if you’re surprised by that being Wilbur’s default station or not. Once you guys got there you quickly got out of the car, telling Fundy you’ll be back soon as you ran in and told Wilbur goodbye. It wasn’t all that much, you gave him a hug and promised to text him once your plane landed to let him know you were safe. You quickly said hi to Phil and Kristin, apologizing that you couldn’t stay longer, which they brushed off, saying that there’ll always be another time.

By the time you and Fundy were finally on your way to the airport it was a quarter past seven, the drive there was viscerally different than the drive to say bye to Wilbur. He drove with one hand, his free one resting carefully in your’s as he rubbed the back of it with his thumb. The silence was almost oppressive as you sat there but neither of you knew what to say, so you both stayed quiet. The silence stretched on into the airport, it was odd but somehow fitting. It was the first time neither of you could really bring yourself to break the silence.

Fundy eventually did, though. After you had made it through security, you two sat down on the benches waiting for them to call your flight number. It started with a laugh, a sad one, followed by a quiet apology, “I’m sorry I haven’t said anything y/n…” He basically said to himself, you’re pretty sure if you had even an ounce less of self control you’d start crying right then.

Carefully, you cupped his face, a sad smile in your eyes, “Don’t worry love. Trust me, I understand.” you replied as you rubbed your thumbs over his cheek bones. He silently nodded, wrapping his arms around your torso as he pulled you close. You moved your hands from his face and wrapped your arms around his neck, “It’ll be fine, just like Phil said to me in the pub today, ‘there’ll always be another time.’ I’ll visit again when this is all over, next time for longer.” You promise him, voice hushed so that only you two can hear it.

“Yeah, yeah. Of course, next time.” he said, it was so soft, as if he said it too loud something would curse against it. The two of you sat like that for a few minutes, enjoying the last time you’d hold each other for at least a long while. All too soon they called for your plane and reluctantly you pulled away from him. Quickly he pulled down his mask, looking at you for a long second before you do the same, softly he connected your lips, it was a slow and desperate kiss. One that knew you had to leave but so strongly wish you didn’t that you could have mistaken it for tangible.

When you pull apart, you smile at him, pressing a light kiss on his cheek before standing up, “I’ll see you soon, yeah?” you ask, fixing your mask.

He nodded, probably much more aggressively than he meant to, “Yeah, definitely.”

[spencersawkward]

I love your ff first of all, I'm obsessed and second of all I would ask you a suggestion, idk if maybe is that too much and you're totally free to not do that but you ever thought to do something in the line of the knive kink? I think it will be awesome

i'm so sorry this took so long! big thanks to my guardian angel @voidsfilm for giving me inspiration bc i literally struggled with this one more than i should have. never written a knife kink but i’m glad i tried lol.

summary: reader finds an antique knife that Matthew's kept in a drawer.

content warnings: unprotected penetrative sex, fingering, oral (male receiving), knife play (no blood drawn), Soft!Dom MGG, degradation and praise.

word count: 3.6k

masterlist

if there is one thing I absolutely despise, it's working out. getting sweaty, running until my legs hurt and my lungs are burning for air... not really my thing.

but when Matthew brought up the idea a couple months into our relationship, I couldn't say no to him: he had a goofy smile on his face and the kind of look in his eyes that made me relent and ask what kind of stuff he wanted to do.

I think that I've found the one thing that Matthew can't make fun.

"I'm gonna pass out." I bend over and set my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. Matthew slows to a stop a few feet ahead, turning around and making a strained expression.

"oh, come on." but his voice is pretty breathless, too. he gently guides me off the path so that we don't get in the way of the other people out enjoying the day. a couple walks by us with their dog, strolling calmly, and I feel a rush of envy. if our workout routine had consisted of a few pleasant ambles around the city, I would have been totally willing.

"Matthew, I wanna go home." I whine impatiently. the only nice thing about this is that he's got one of those stupid sweatbands on his head to keep his hair out of his face, and it makes him look like a 1980's housewife.

"we can go home in fifteen minutes." he smiles, puts his hands on his hips, stretching in an exaggerated way.

"do you promise?" I brush a piece of hair out of my face.

"promise," he's lucky he looks so cute in his workout outfit. "we can even get one of those fancy juices for you on the way back."

"seriously?" I light up. this might actually be worth it; they have this amazing mango and lime combination that I can't ever manage to recreate with our own blender.

"if you beat me to the rock, then sure." he references the enormous boulder in Central Park that we both gawked at on our first date-- ever since then, it's been the end point for our runs. my lips curl into a grin.

"you're on." I take off, making sure to push him out of the way in order to gain a head start. he lets out something of a protestation but is quick to follow. I can feel his feet pounding behind me, trying to catch up.

I may not be good at running long distances, but I'm sure as hell faster than he is.

...

it's quiet when I step out of the bedroom, drying my hair with the towel and wandering into the living room. Matthew is sitting at the table with his sketchbook, drawing god knows what while he waits for me to finish up.

"what are you up to?" I ask softly as I plop down across from him. my head is slightly tilted while the towel rubs my scalp.

"I'm not really sure." he shrugs, frowning and holding up the notebook from a distance as if that'll help him figure out what to do.

"can I see when you're done?"

"of course," he sets it on the table again, then runs a fingertip across his chin. "actually, can you do me a favor?"

"sure."

"I have a set of colored pencils in the desk over there," he points to an old piece of furniture under the window. "would you mind getting them for me?"

"yep," I reply, getting up and leaving the towel on the table. "least I can do after kicking your ass."

on the walk past him, Matthew grabs my waist and pulls me into him, attacks me with tickles. I squeal and hit his shoulder.

"stop!" I laugh.

"you barely beat me!" he gives a dazzling smile and finally lets me go. I lightly smack him upside the head and head over to the desk, rifling through the drawers for the colored pencils he wanted.

as I push around various art supplies, glue sticks and random paintbrushes that look to be on the brink of falling apart, my fingers pass something cool and metallic. I grab the thing and pull it out.

it's a knife; like, a fancy one with an intricately decorated handle and what seems to be a pretty dulled edge. before he can notice what I've found, I start to move the thing between my hands curiously. there's a nice weight to it, but it's definitely old.

"hey, Matthew?" I ask warily.

"yeah?" so unassuming and sweet.

"why do you have a knife?"

there's a scratching as he gets up from the table to walk over to me. I lean against the desk. Matthew doesn't seem too bothered by what I'm saying at all, only gently taking the weapon out of my hands and examining it himself.

"oh, yeah!" he lets out something like a laugh. I raise an eyebrow and wait for him to continue. "do you remember when we went antiquing in Cape Cod, like, a month ago?"

"yeah." I nod at the memory. he'd been lucky enough to get some vacation days and we'd spent them sitting by the water with glasses of wine and nothing but time to talk. it really was a great trip, now that I think about it.

"I found it there." he still hasn't looked up and I realize that there's something he's not telling me. I don't know what I'm missing, but I start to get nervous.

"...why?"

"I was gonna ask then, but I guess I just forgot." his tongue darts out across his bottom lip as he lifts his face to meet my gaze. my heart thuds when he opens his mouth again. "I kinda wanted to try something."

"like?"

"I've been thinking about maybe using knives... in a sexual way."

"what?" I frown, confused by his wording. Matthew seems to realize that he's phrased it awkwardly and shifts his stance. he keeps glancing between the object and my face like he's worried about scaring me away.

"I don't mean I'm gonna stab you or anything," he laughs. "I just mean I think it sounds fun."

my hand finds his, brushing my palm over the steel to touch it myself again. there's a curiosity that burns through me now, something I'm a little unsure about but not enough so to deny the possibility of trying it.

"what do you wanna do with it?" I peek up at him. he bites his lip. we're speaking in gentle tones and I notice that our bodies have gotten closer within the last few moments. a warmth, a tension.

"like, pressing the blade flat against your skin while I fuck you." he takes the thing and demonstrates. the cool silver rests on my neck, too dull to really threaten a serious cut if he were to move too quickly. a shiver runs down my spine at the sensation of the metal.

I gulp, feel the curve of my throat push against it when I swallow. it's nice.

"oh." is all I say. Matthew is watching me intently, but he doesn't make any motion away from it. like he's entranced by the sight of me with a knife to my throat.

"are you interested?" he asks.

I mull it over. on the one hand, weapon play is something I've never considered in my sex life before. Matthew and I aren't vanilla, but this hasn't crossed my mind. that said, now that I can really feel it, there is a desire forming in my stomach. it would be a strange, new sensation.

"yes." the confirmation makes him smile a little. he lowers the thing and instead wraps me in his arms, kisses me passionately until our tongues are dancing over each other. I love how he holds me, our torsos against each other while my body leans slightly back to accept the weight of his touch.

he goes to my head like alcohol. and it's even more surreal when I feel the blade move under the hem of my shirt to rest against my back. I smile into his mouth. he doesn't do anything with it, just leaves it to remind me.

he starts to rut his hips against my lower stomach, getting aroused at the proximity of our bodies and the heated nature of our kiss. there's an urgency to all of it, like he's holding back. I don't want him to hold back; I want him to give me everything he has, everything beneath the surface.

my fingers twine in his hair and tug on the ends, causing him to groan into our embrace. there's no way we're going to make it all the way to the bedroom with the way he's grabbing at my body, so I stumble backwards towards the couch until the backs of my thighs hit the arm of it.

"you're horny." I giggle slightly when he pushes the hem of my shirt up my body, his nails dragging over my ribcage and trailing the object along with it. I feel the excitement growing.

"I'm just glad you're willing to try this." he murmurs the words, holds our foreheads together before his lips eagerly seek mine out, again. somehow, even with a weapon leveled against me, I can sense the love in every single action. I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't trust him to treat me with the utmost care.

I work at the buttons of his shirt, pushing it over his lovely shoulders and arms as he unclasps my bra. we're fervent, greedy in our movements, trying to kiss despite the attention needed to remove our clothes. mostly we just tangle up in each other until there's nothing left but my shorts for him to shove down my legs. he keeps his pants on.

"c'mon, beautiful." he mutters, pushing my legs open so that I'm sitting on the arm of the couch. he tilts my head and leans closer to suck on my bottom lip, and then starts to massage my tits. I can feel the handle of the weapon against my nipple.

when he reaches to slide his finger between my folds, I hiss out a breath at the cold sensation of his skin.

"is this because of me or the knife, baby?" he asks, corners of his mouth twitching up while I moan into his mouth. he starts to rub my clit with the collected wetness, teasing me too much. I want to fall back, but I can't. I won't let myself.

"both." I find myself turned on by the way the blade sits against my ribs again. the edge is just sharp enough to elicit a reaction from my body.

"feel that?" he angles the thing the slightest bit. I exhale and nod.

that isn't the response he's looking for, however, because he moves it so that it's under my chin. goosebumps on my skin while I pant uselessly against the weapon. I can feel it press harder with every breath out of my lungs, and I love it. I love the risk it brings out of me.

while Matthew dips his index inside my pussy, I writhe against it and tilt my head even more so he has better access.

"look at you," he lets out a dark chuckle, thrusts into me to the last digit. "you want more of this, don't you?"

"yes, sir." I breathe. my neck is actively moving against the metal. I glance down at his body and see his erection straining against his pants, craving release but finding none as he plunges his fingers in and out of me. I can hardly breathe from sheer focus on the sensations he's giving me right now.

"what are you looking at, sweetheart?" he quickens the pace of his movements and uses the object to make me focus on his face.

"you're hard." the words nearly die on my lips. he stares darkly at me, lifting his brows just enough to make me question whether I should have spoken at all. I bite my lip in anticipation.

"and what are you gonna do about it?" his voice is raspy as he stands back, removes his fingers from my pussy, and lets me drop to my knees. I'm weak both from the stimulation and from the loss of it, but I make quick work of undoing his belt, pulling the pants down his legs until I'm face-to-face with his cock. it sits against his stomach, throbbing impatiently while he watches. he uses the metallic point under my jaw to angle my face up to his.

"are you gonna suck me off, baby?" he smirks. I nod rigorously with wide eyes and an open mouth, dragging my tongue along the underside. Matthew's nose scrunches up for a moment at the shock of contact when I tease the head. all his concentration is on watching me wrap my hand around the shaft and pumping him gently. "spit on it."

I obey and spit right onto the tip before rubbing my thumb over the top to gather the precum. as I start to swirl my tongue and move my lips onto him, he throws his head back, lets out a wanton noise. it urges me on. I take every moment with a deliberate attention to the veins and sensitive spot he has.

"that's it, that's it." he rasps while knotting his hand in my hair. the other keeps the knife pressed to my throat. he lets me move on my own for a bit, gauging my desires from the way my eyes attempt to memorize the sight of his face above me, that jaw dropped in licentious craving. I can tell that he wants to fuck my face, but I go slow just to draw it out a little. it makes the soreness of my jaw worth it when he gets all impatient and flustered.

I hollow my cheeks and bob on his dick, bat my lashes, pull myself off him for a second just to kiss the tip.

"can I use your mouth?" he asks through a restrained groan. I open it and nod, sighing at the feeling of his fingers twining through my hair again before he pushes back into the opening. now that he's got full control, he starts to develop his own movements, sometimes meeting his thrusts by pressing my face against him.

he gets deep in it, never losing his grip on the knife, until my nose is pressed to his stomach. my throat closes instinctively around him even more tightly, and he lets out a guttural moan.

"such a cute mouth when I'm using it." he thrusts until I gag and then he's smiling. "get up."

he removes himself so fast, my eyes water at the sudden lack of blockage in my throat. I gulp air while he hooks his hands under my arms and hoists me up. I'm about to turn around so I can lift my leg and give him better access, but he sits me on the arm of the couch and parts my thighs.

"I wanna see your pretty face." he leans down and pecks my cheek. I smile at the surprising tenderness-- although it doesn't last long. steel sits against the space between my neck and collarbone. it's only a moment before he positions himself between my legs and slides his cock into me.

my back arches and I look him in the eyes, gasping.

"fuck, baby." he drags out the first word as he inches inside. I mewl helplessly at the way he stretches me out, my pussy clenching every few seconds. he keeps one hand on my lower back to support me and bring me closer to his pelvis, and then we're staring into each other's eyes as he finally settles in it.

his hips start to thrust into me, hopeful for any kind of contact while I accustom myself to the shape of him. it happens every time, despite the amount of times we've done this. and I'm bad at patience, but he's worse. his body stutters against mine.

"is it good enough, sir?" I ask quietly. he tightens his grip on my back and on the blade, the edge threatening my skin the perfect amount. I suck in a breath at the way it stings a little.

"you're doing perfectly." he recognizes what I want to hear as he finds my sweet spot and begins to hit it repeatedly, smoothly works my body. I swear there are planets in my eyes when I stare at the expressions on his face, both of us so wrapped up in each other that every other thought becomes obsolete.

he moves the knife to under my chin to rest on my throat.

"feel that?"

I nod so the edge bites more. he smirks.

"just to show you who you belong to."

my hips push up to meet his thrusts, needing more stimulation, more friction. what I want is for him to be relentless, to slam into my body with the kind of hunger I know he has. there are sounds, movements, that he's made before that make me want him to use them. but he's withholding, probably hesitant about the dangerous object on my pulse point.

"I belong to you, sir." I egg him on. he likes the sound of that, grunting and starting to pound into me.

"yeah? you're my dirty little whore." he speaks through gritted teeth. I shiver.

"mhmm."

"I use you how I want, when I want." his fingertips dig into my skin and he yanks me closer so that he can hit a new angle. I let out a surprised noise when he brushes my g-spot. it's otherworldly and I expose more of my neck to him.

"my little slut likes pain, huh?" he nudges the weapon harder into my skin. it doesn't draw blood, but I can sense the mark it'll leave. I love it.

"yes, sir." we're both getting needy, but we can't hold each other the way that we want to in our given positions. my palms are occupied on the arm of the couch to hold myself up and one of his hands is too busy holding the object for us to fuck as deeply as we need.

"are you gonna take it like a good girl when I cum in it?" he mutters. he runs his tongue over my jawline and the weapon nicks my skin. I moan at the mingling of sensations that's building all across my body.

"yes, sir." I plead. it's nearly unbearable, how much I want him. we're chasing our orgasms and I know what will finish me off. he knows, too.

Matthew drops the knife. it clatters to the ground, but there's no time for me to register it with the way he grabs my hips and lifts me into the air, my legs wrapping around his waist while he keeps fucking into me. he maneuvers us with shocking ease, laying me on the couch and positioning himself at the right moment so that I can drag my nails over his back and keep my thighs locked around him.

"mmm... baby, I'm gonna cum." he drives into me recklessly, both of us finally able to cling to each other. the angle is just enough to stimulate my clit and I nod, using the leverage of my legs to pull myself to him and roll my hips for friction.

Matthew slams my body into the couch, grunting in my ear as he finds his climax inside me. it's so deep, I have to work to keep the yell inside, but he's not done. he rides it out and plows into me while I reach the edge.

"tell me how it feels." he orders in my ear. I sigh.

"so-- so good, sir." my voice is thin. "I'm close."

"show me." he leaves bruises on my hips with his hands. I feel the knot finally snap, every muscle in my stomach spasming chaotically. I finish with a loud moan, begging him to drag it out further. my vision nearly goes black at the tide that threatens to overtake my body.

"Matthew--" I gasp. he moans quietly at the way I say his name, still rocking his body into mine while I come down from the shocks of orgasm. it's nearly overwhelming, the pleasure running through my body.

slowly, we come to a stillness and he drops his head into my shoulder, panting. he doesn't let go at first, but then he withdraws from my pussy and lets me take a rest. I lay there on the couch while he kneels between my legs, pressing gentle kisses to my neck.

"I love you." he repeats it over and over.

"I love you, too," I hope he can feel the meaning, despite the sheer exhaustion in my tone. he runs his fingertips across the red marks where the thing went a little too deeply, but I'm not worried about it. "we should try that again, sometime."

"you liked it?" he smiles brightly. I love the lines by his eyes.

"definitely."

he lets out a cheerful noise and buries his face back into my throat because he knows how much it tickles. I screech and giggle, my legs kicking wildly around me. more contented than ever before.

[ninyard]

Heeey what do you think was that made Kevin finally leave the nest?

I wrote like a 2k word fic-of-an-answer to this one my friend but I wasn’t vibing with it! So I’m starting again. But same thing as the last draft of this answer; I think about Kevin leaving the nest ALL THE TIME

~

(“Keep mouthing off like a pair of fucking frogs.” Riko spat in English to them both. When Jean shut the door, “Do you think you’re better than I am?”

“Your ego will kill you someday.” He looked Riko in the eye. “I think you care too much about other people’s success to make yourself look better. You’re building your Court,” Kevin swallowed hard, still trying to hold his head up, gravity failing him as he started to tremble. “But you think it’s just guaranteed you’ll be on it.”)

~

Mandatory CW for The Breaking Of A Hand and Kevin Has Nothing To Live For. See also: the foxes are foxes and their lives are Fucked Up (suicide mention, overdose mention, panic attacks & drug use)

Okay.

Let’s. Talk. About. Kevin.

Idk if I’m allowed to say that Kevin is an underrated character. I really don’t think I am. But if I was allowed to say that I WOULD. I am so very passionate about Kevin I would absolutely die for him and he’s not even real. So let’s talk about his hand.

Can you even begin to imagine what was going through Kevin’s head that night? It looked like practice, then The Master talking about potential, then Riko is mad, then pain and blood and how do I get out of here? Then is it worth it if my life is over?

I think there probably was a minute where Kevin sat alone, covered in his own blood, just thinking there was no point in being alive anymore. His playing hand didn’t really look like a hand anymore, his life and reputation and everything he had worked for just pumping out of his hand and staining his shirt. He didn’t remember passing out but when he came to Riko was gone, and his body was running on fumes trying to keep the pain from overwhelming his system. He probably threw up, all over the locker room, his blood trickling through the tiles, the echo of his own screams ringing through his ears like a non-stop siren. He probably couldn’t really see properly for a little bit and he probably couldn’t move for a while, either. Riko was a foot shorter than him, but he made up for that difference by channeling every ounce of anger and jealousy he felt for Kevin into his feet to stomp the shit out of Kevin’s hand until he knew he would never play again. Jean found Kevin not long later, maybe a couple minutes, or an hour. Kevin begged him to get Riko out of his room. Jean wrapped Kevin’s hand up as best he could, and promised him to deal with it as long as Kevin was there when he got back. Jean had figured he was a flight risk, and knew if Kevin left, Riko’s French personal punching bag would come in handy to take out all his egotistical frustration on. Kevin promised he’d be there when Jean came back. Jean came back to his jacket and wallet missing, a tiny scrap of paper left on the bed, an almost illegible ‘sorry’ scrawled across it. He burned it in the bathroom sink before Riko could find it.

So Kevin’s in his car, and he’s driving. He doesn’t know where yet, and man, is he a hazard. Twice on his journey he nearly knocked out behind the wheel, his head bobbing as the pain begged his body to sleep. He probably had to pull over a couple times to be sick, or to have a panic attack, or both. I know he went through the stages of grief on that drive to Virginia. He probably turned on his radio at some point and laughed, how ridiculous he looked, how dangerous it was to be driving one handed. It took him double the amount of time it would normally have because he just. Had to keep stopping. There’s no way he made that journey in a solid drive.

But also I think he probably didn’t have a plan before he was driving. He knew the Southeastern district were holding the Christmas banquet that night, but that was a secondary thought. His first worry was getting out of the nest. His second worry was whether he was going to kill himself or not. The reason he didn’t just do it? David. The thing that pulled Kevin back off that metaphorical ledge was Coach David Wymack. The only other people who knew about his moms letter were Tetsuji, Jean and Riko. Kevin knew well that none of them would be calling up to break the news to Wymack if he died, and David would grow old and die without ever having known that Kevin Day was his son. David was the reason he was risking everything on busy streets and highways and whatever roads he drove too fast or too slow on.

So, he’s in Virginia without a plan. He doesn’t know what hotel David’s in, if he’s even still in Virginia, if the foxes even bothered to show up. So he looks at as many hotels as he could find. He narrows down the list by looking at the ones he knew the Class I teams frequented, and he called the all pretending to be David, looking for his rooms number. After the fifth call he found it.

Think about Kevin’s anxiety in the elevator, hand throbbing, not profusely bleeding anymore, but every minute that passes is a percentage off the chances he has at keeping his hand and playing again. His heart is racing, his head heavy, every fibre in his being screaming.

David calls out a “Hold your fucking horses, give me a minute!” when Kevin knocks on his door a second time after his first knock received no answer. David opens the door with Abby just behind him, and his face falls so quickly it could’ve hit the floor.

“Kevin.” He looks him up and down, not yet noticing the t-shirt covered in blood he had wrapped around his hand. “Kevin Day. Mind telling me what the fuck you’re doing here?”

Abby pushes past him to unwrap Kevin’s hand. It must be some nurses instinct, to be instantly drawn to looking for an injury on a person. Kevin pulled it back as gently as he could, looking up and down the hall before asking so quietly it almost couldn’t be heard. “Can I come in?”

David makes small talk with Kevin as he shuts the hotel door behind him. What would he say? What could he possibly say to superstar Kevin Day, who he’d only officially met as a baby, when his mother was alive and he wasn’t destined for Court? He probably tried to make meaningless, awkward small talk until Abby shut him up to ask Kevin what happened. He just started to cry. Small whimpers into chesty, heaving, heavy cries, his body teetering on the edge of a panic attack. David had seen his foxes in bad ways before. He’d seen one of his kids convulsing on a stretcher after an accidental overdose, or a fox who’d choked on their own vomit after an intentional one. He’d seen his foxes in their worst moments, panic attacks and withdrawals, anger and sadness, pulling their hair out and on the brink of death. Something about this was the same but different. When Seth first overdosed on the team it was a cry for help, or when Janie admitted herself to the psych ward for a week, it was because she wanted to try. When Damien asked for a second, and third, and fourth chance David gave it to him because that was what Foxes deserved. It took him a moment of watching Kevin heave, snot and spit running down his chin, his hair falling over his face, his body shaking with anxiety, to remember that Kevin wasn’t a fox. Kevin was a Raven, and by god, that was so much worse.

I think we all know that Abby cares for her foxes like she’s their mother, but Kevin is just different. Abby had been seeing David long enough to know how much Kayleigh Day had really meant to him, and how much it hurt to watch Kevin do her proud. Now Kevin was sitting in front of her, his hand practically lifeless, his heart pouring out of every place it could. She tried not to look at David’s face as he paced the room, watching her patch up Kevin’s hand as best she could. Kevin only started to calm down when she handed him a bottle of Diazepam and some water.

And then Kevin whispers that Riko did it. David almost didn’t hear him. He nearly asked for him to repeat it until it hit him. Riko did it. Riko smashed the hand of his number two so badly it would take a long time for him to play again, if he even wanted to. Abby sent him a deathly glare when he mumbled to himself; “I’ll kill that little jumped up piece of shit”.

The rest is history; Kevin passes out not long after, David carries him to the bus, and they drive to the stadium to pick up the foxes. Kevin sleeps the rest of the way until the sun is starting to rise and they’re back in South Carolina. Kevin doesn’t stop crying on and off again for a couple days, and Abby had to hold him back from escaping more than once. After watching his anxiety consume him, and when he told her none of the Ravens were allowed to be medicated in any manner, she got him a script for some quick-acting anxiety meds for him to keep. It took him a week of energy-sapping panic attacks before she could convince him to actually take them as he needed them.

David took out a loan five days after Kevin had arrived into his care. He called Edgar Allan on the sixth, and the seventh, and the eighth day. By the ninth day Kevin was released from the grips of Ravens. By the tenth day they had started the process of making Kevin Day a fox. I suppose it’s for the best Riko fucked up his hand so badly, isn’t it? At least it gave him the ability to fit into the eligibility criteria for being a Fox. Welcome to the club, Kevin Day, and prepare to be gravely disappointed.

[animatedrapture]

RINTOBER: [to love and to be loved ]

suna rintarō x gender neutral reader

tags: fluff, comfort, established relationship, slight angst, mentions of feeling unwanted and sadness. reader feeling the bigsad™️

word count: around 1k+

a/n: didn't proofread ): queued. hope this is turned out alright. like, i suck at writing fluff and it shows shows ;( almost sure i flopped suna's characterization here and idk why.

Suna always thought that he was good at memorizing things—it was an advantage brought about by his observant nature.

But there's something about you today that's not clicking in his head; there was a wall put up around you that he can just feel, like you're locking yourself inside an invisible space you wouldn't let even him get through.

He lets it slide during lunch. There's only very few things that can unsettle Suna, but perhaps something he'll forever dislike is how absent you feel when you're actually sitting in front of him. It's not like you were the loud type, nor were you like him—mostly silent and apathetic, but you weren't usually like this either. You seemed ghostly, Suna never would've thought he'd be so unsettled by it.

In fact, he was so unsettled that it urged him to pull you in his arms right before he lets you go back to your class after lunch. Nevermind that you were in the hallways still littered with people, or that it was uncharacteristic of him to express such affection in public. He keeps you in his arms long enough for your tensed body to melt into his before he squeezes your hands, a silent notion to let you know he's going back to his class, and then lets you go.

Maybe it's because he knows that he doesn't have you all figured out in his head, he doesn't know what to do when you're simultaneously there but also not. He doesn't have every inch of you memorized in his head and that makes him fail from knowing that he shouldn't have let it slide during lunch.

Suna curses in his head after class when Kita walks up to him, telling him that you'll go ahead for today instead of waiting for Suna until after their volleyball practice like you usually would. Kita doesn't question it any longer when he doesn't see Suna in practice. Your odd demeanor when you approached him earlier was enough to let him know what Suna was bound to do.

You were about to fumble for your keys but the door was open when you came home. It took you a longer walk than usual today, you felt exhausted—not even in a physical sense but more so in a sense where breathing is hard and functioning is difficult. You don't understand what clicked in you today that made you just want to disappear, if even for a moment; you felt like you could vanish from this earth, cease to exist, and it wouldn't matter—the sun would continue to rise and fall, all the planets would continue to orbit around it, everything would follow through as it always did.

God, how you wanted to just tell someone—anyone what was wrong, how you just wanted to be held for the longest time and find a speck of comfort from whatever pit you've fallen into. You couldn't, though, and you hated it so much. You hated how you felt like a bother for even the most miniscule of movement you make, the smallest sound you'd create.

But when you push open your door to find your boyfriend, Suna, already there and staring at the door as if he's been waiting for you—it's like the cogs in your head slowly started to turn backwards in an attempt to redo how it's been moving.

"Hey."

"Rin? What are you—? You have practice…"

You watch him from your own doorstep as he makes his way towards you, watch him pry your bag from your hands and pull you inside, pushing the door closed.

Your question remains unanswered as he brings you to your room, placing your bag to where you usually would, helping you out of your school blazer. Then, he pulls you to your bed along with him, placing you between his legs, your back pressed against his chest.

It's his own, unspoken question that lingers in the air after that. What's wrong?

Suna leans in and rests his chin on your shoulder. You can feel his arms around you hold you closer, providing so much warmth you didn't know had been slowly dissipating out of you the past few days.

"I—" you try to speak, only to wince at the crack in your voice. You grit your teeth as you feel hot tears forming from the corners of your eyes.

"'s okay, baby. Take all the time you need," he murmurs. You feel him press his lips to your shoulder, as if to comfort you.

"I… Feel disgusted with myself, Rin? Feel like… I ask too much of you—? Take? Too much of you," you choke in a sob. Suna swallows a lump in his own throat that grows from the words you tell him.

"I-I feel like… I've been too clingy with you? Like… D-do—do you want me around? I feel-I feel like I'm being stupid for feeling like this but I just—" you feel him shake his head. Your tears continue to fall, staining your cheeks with its tracks. 

"I feel like… I shouldn't be around, y'know? I don't understand it but I just–I feel like no one would want me around?" your words come out in between sobs, in the same uncertain tone, trying to find the right words to string together.

"I love you, y/n," his voice comes out thick and coarse, like he's struggling to wrap his head around how you've been feeling and what he should do about it.

"'m sorry, Rin. I shouldn't be burdening you with—" You feel him flinch against you.

Suna gently lifts you from between his legs to sit on his lap, cupping your cheeks to make you face him. His eyebrows were furrowed, a small frown on his lips, and he shakes his head again.

"You're never a burden to me, baby," he tilts his head, sighing, "I want you around, always. Want you near me, always. 'm not sure if you're clingy 'cause I love you exactly as you are, yeah?"

You only stare at him, dumbstruck, "I'm not sure what's going on in that pretty little head of yours but 'm always gonna be here for you, y/n. Always gonna love you, always gonna hold you for as long as you need, always gonna want you around, yeah?"

When you don't answer, biting your lip as your tears continue to fall, he brings his lips to your forehead, offering a lingering kiss. Then, he mutters, "Please tell me you believe me."

You never heard him so worried, so concerned before. You nod fervently, "I believe you, Rin."

Suna lets out a sigh of relief, his hand stroking your hair. "You can tell me whenever you feel like this, yeah? 'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."

You nod. "I love you, Rintarō."

"I love you, y/n," Suna's reply was immediate.

"Even if I'm a bit too much sometimes?"

You hear him scoff, pulling back to look at you. He flicks your forehead, "You're never too much for me. I mean, who else is gonna want to always hold my hand and nap with me?"

You pout at him, "Like, a ton of other girls!" You answer him, emphasizing the amount.

He rolls his eyes at you, pulling you closer to him, "They're not you."

You let out a loud laugh, a laugh that resonates in his own chest and eases his worry. "That's so cheesy, Rin!"

"You're cheesy."

"Nu-uh."

"Just shut up and let me love you, y/n."

You smile. As if he didn't already make you feel like the luckiest person in the world to be loved by him. It's absolutely ridiculous how simply being in his arms was reassurance enough, ridiculous how he tried his best offer you what you needed when you needed it—even when it's usually so out of character for him.

But maybe that's what you're missing—knowing that Suna Rintarō loved you like the heavy water currents of the deep sea, loved you like no novel of love penned in history would have the ability to express.

"Only if you'd let me love you, Rin."

There's a chuckle that erupts from his throat, the corners of his lips curling to a smile.

Of course he would let you—as if he would have it any other way.

[firelxdykatara]

gods, ok, apparently i’m not done.

atla fandom? we need to have a chat.

(....ok that made me sound pretentious as fuck. and maybe i am, but this needs to be said, cause i’m getting....real, real tired of a Certain Corner of this fandom and as a result, this is gonna be a discourse-heavy post so feel free to scroll past if that’s not your bag. as always, my salt posts all carry the catch-all #salt for ts tag, which you’re free to blacklist/filter at your leisure. i’m Very Annoyed at the moment, which will probably come through in the following post, so just. yknow. be prepared for that. or ignore it, that’s perfectly valid too.)

under a cut bc i do care for my followers and their sanity i swear lmao

there’s a real serious issue in this fandom with not understanding what queer terminology actually means or implies, especially when applied to a fictional narrative.

i’m specifically talking about ‘coding’, here. (if i were in a more meme-y mood, i might have said ‘the atla fandom found out about the term “gay-coding” and haven’t shut up since’.)

to the people who say ‘zuko is gay-coded’, i have this to say: you keep using that word. i do not think it means what you think it means. because he isn’t. i’m sorry, but he’s not! and the fact that this is such a prevalent claim in this fandom is distressing, bc it says to me that none of y’all know what gay-coding is or when and how to apply it! please, i’m begging you, go and look up these terms and what they mean and when they should be used before actually trying to plug them into your critical analysis, because when you misuse them and then call other people delusional for disagreeing with you it casts a pall over the entire fandom and is, i think, the root of some of the worst toxicity this fandom has to offer.

and the thing is, there are cases where gay-coding would apply--for instance, a couple series that are famous for queerbaiting their audience by coding their main characters as being attracted to one another (sometimes even despite their openly stated sexualities) come to mind, but those shows bare no similarities at all to atla and how zuko was written and portrayed! (and it would be funny, if it weren’t so obnoxious and infuriatingly wide-spread throughout the fandom, because the only queer couple we actually seen on-screen in either show wasn’t even queer-coded in any respect, and they’re canonically bi! [yes, i’m shading korrasami, or more accurately i’m shading bryke for refusing to give ka the build-up and development they deserved].)

this absolutely isn’t to say that headcanoning zuko as gay is a bad thing or invalid in any respect. (although the tendency for zukka shippers to do this specifically to keep zuko away from katara and/or invalidate his canon relationship/attraction to girls is more than a little eyebrow raising. especially since sokka is usually allowed to be bi, bc fans have no problem letting sukka stay in the background bc it’s no real threat, while jetko shippers are happy to have both boys be bi. [possibly bc katara is less a threat to jetko bc jetkotara is every bit as valid as any single ship between the three, but zukka can’t exactly let katara join in, and if the potential exists for zuko to be attracted to her then canon giving them the far deeper emotional bond becomes a threat to zukka’s existence? idk for sure--you be the judge.]) i prefer to hc zuko as bi (and always have, long before the atla renaissance), bc i don’t think zuko being attracted to boys is outside the realm of possibility, and it isn’t a threat to my ship since zuko&katara had a deep and emotional bond in canon that is very easy to develop further into something that becomes explicitly romantic--but the headcanon itself isn’t really the problem (although what it’s often in service to can be).

it’s the strange insistence that this is the only way to read his character, bc he was coded that way and so anyone who doesn’t see it must be too straight to understand--and i really shouldn’t have to say why and how that is so incredibly fucking insulting. (the ‘hetero lenses’ comment wasn’t cute when it came from bryke six years ago, and the same sentiment being repackaged and delivered by zukka shippers ain’t cute now.)

calling zuko gay-coded not only demonstrates ignorance as to what the term actually means, and how to usefully apply it in critical analysis, but also validates the frankly bullshit insertion of institutionalized homophobia in the world of atla where it was neither needed, nor wanted, nor ever hinted at in canon. as a queer woman i’m still infuriated by one fucking comic panel shoving institutionalized and systemic homophobia into a world where it was entirely unnecessary (and doing this in the first installment of the franchise showcasing a queer relationship??? making korra and asami worried about ‘coming out’ when they could have just gone on to have cute adventures together and tell people ‘hey we’re dating’ and have everyone else be ‘that’s awesome =DDD’ [because it is, in fact, possible to just have a world without homophobia i promise!!!!!] double yikes, i’m still pissed at bryke about it), and i doubly hate that ‘zuko is gay coded’ has become so widespread that ‘ozai hates him bc he’s gay’ has become a staple in that part of the fandom.

not only does making zuko gay and implying (or outright stating) that ozai hated and abused him because of it completely undermine zuko’s character arc by making his abuse about his sexuality rather than ozai’s toxic pride and anger at seeing himself reflected in his ‘weak’ son, but it comes very close to outright stating that abuse and trauma are inherently gay experiences, and they aren’t!!! they really aren’t, i promise!!!

abuse and trauma narratives exist outside of ‘my dad hates me because i’m gay’. and, quite frankly, there are MORE THAN ENOUGH queer trauma narratives out in the world. we do not need to start trying to retroactively make them canon in a series where they didn’t exist! if you’re gay and see yourself in zuko and project your own experiences on him, that’s understandable and valid. that does not make zuko gay-coded. and honestly, the insistence that he is makes very little sense to me, because you’re essentially trying to give the show credit for work you put into interpreting the characters! why would you want to do that? why not own your own headcanons and take credit for them, rather than insisting they are canon and everyone else is wrong for not seeing them??? like, i’ve said before that i’ve always headcanoned zuko (and katara) as bi, and even support it with my interpretations of evidence from the show, but the difference between ‘i think zuko is bi’ and ‘zuko is definitely gay-coded’ is that i know that bi zuko is my interpretation of canon, and that it is work i’m putting into the show that wasn’t actually intended by the creators/writers, no matter how much sexual tension i read into the jetko swordfight.

and like, zuko’s character arc doesn’t actually parallel a queer one all that well to begin with. it’s easy enough to do the work and twist it sideways just enough to make the general points fit, but the fact is, zuko’s arc is not one of self-discovery. it’s not one of coming to understand something fundamental about himself that he can’t change, that he was hated for, and coming out to his father in a dramatic confrontation where he shows that he understands himself and doesn’t need his father’s acceptance to be fulfilled.

zuko’s arc is actually one of trauma and healing. and those can (and often are--like i said, there are more than enough queer trauma narratives in the world, atla really doesn’t need to be one of them) be part of queer narratives, for sure! but they aren’t uniquely queer. and zuko’s confrontation with ozai during the eclipse doesn’t read like a ‘coming out’ at all. (yes, i’ve seen that post. yes, i rolled my eyes and moved on, bc unlike some people, i’m capable of not clowning on correctly tagged posts i disagree with.) zuko is specifically confronting ozai over his abuse, because his arc wasn’t about discovering anything fundamental about himself (and therefore realizing that ozai was hating him for something he couldn’t change)--it was about realizing that he was not at fault for the way his father treated him. it was also about realizing that the fire nation was broken and corrupt at its core, and that his father was an aspect of that he needed to break away from so that he could help the world begin to heal.

he says it himself:

Zuko: No, I've learned everything! And I've had to learn it on my own! Growing up, we were taught that the Fire Nation was the greatest civilization in history. And somehow, the War was our way of sharing our greatness with the rest of the world. What an amazing lie that was. The people of the world are terrified by the Fire Nation. They don't see our greatness. They hate us! And we deserve it! We've created an era of fear in the world. And if we don't want the world to destroy itself, we need to replace it with an era of peace and kindness.

making this about zuko being gay and rejecting ozai’s homophobia, rather than zuko learning fundamental truths about the world and about his home and about how there was something deeply wrong with his nation that needed to be fixed in order for the world to heal (and, no, ‘homophobia’ is not the answer to ‘what is wrong with the fire nation’, i’m still fucking pissed at bryke about that), misses the entire point of his character arc. this is the culmination of zuko realizing that he should never have had to earn his father’s love, because that should have been unconditional from the start. this is zuko realizing that he was not at fault for his father’s abuse--that speaking out of turn in a war meeting in no way justified fighting a duel with a child.

is that first realization (that a parent’s love should be unconditional, and if it isn’t, then that is the parent’s fault and not the child’s) something that queer kids in homophobic households/families can relate to? of course it is. but it’s also something that every other abused kid, straight kids and even queer kids who were abused for other reasons before they even knew they were anything other than cishet, can relate to as well. in that respect, it is not a uniquely queer experience, nor is it a uniquely queer story, and zuko not being attracted to girls (which is what a lot of it seems to boil down to, at the end of the day--cutting down zuko’s potential ships so that only zukka and a few far more niche ships are left standing) is not necessary to his character arc. nor does it particularly make sense.

(and before anyone brings up his date with jin--a) he enjoyed it when she kissed him, and b) he was a traumatized, abused child going out on a first date. of course he was fucking awkward. have you ever met a teenage boy????)

anyway, uh, that was a lot of words, so have a tl;dr: zuko is not gay-coded. there is nothing uniquely gay (or even uniquely queer) about his character arc or characterization, and he was certainly not coded gay in an attempt to sneak a queer character past the censors. if anyone involved with atla was gonna try that, it would’ve been in lok, and as established, they didn’t even manage to queer-code the actual queer relationship before the last few minutes of the final episode. headcanoning zuko as gay is absolutely fine (though if it’s only done to keep him away from female characters he may otherwise be attracted to, that smells more like misogyny than anything else), but insisting that this reading is the only one that makes sense, and anyone who doesn’t agree must be straight (hello, queer woman here making this insanely long thinkpiece) is very much not.

ship what you like, but stop trying to invalidate other ships and other interpretations of characters just to make your ship seem more plausible. it’s really not a good look.

[kingsuckjin]

Ungodly Beast 3- epilogue

✞ Pairing: Devil! Jungkook x reader

✞ Genre: horror, fluff idk anymore

✞ Synopsis: You need to end this hell on earth.

✞ Warnings: death, gore, mention of burns, blood, talk of heaven and hell, the earth is on fire (I have to say that your child dies but it will all be okay, I promise it’s alright and it’s not as bad as you might think, just trust me.)

✞ Words: 2.3k

✞ A/N: I would put links here for the past two parts, but lately tumblr has been doing this thing where it wont let this fic show up in the tags if I put in links or tag anyone. They're on my masterlist though, I’m just very sorry for the inconvenience.

"Go my child, end this. Take all the power you need, and if you succeed I'll return the favor."

The flames around your bare feet had to be searingly hot, but they didn't hurt you, it didn't even singe or dirty the white you wore. 

The grass of the park was no more, and what lie under the flames was dry, scorched earth. The leaves had been burned from the trees, the trunks of which still smoked and trailed upwards towards the starless night sky. Glowing orange embers and ash fell all around you like some kind of twisted blizzard.

As you walked you saw the melted remnants of the playground you use to take your son to.

So this was hell on Earth.

It was just a shell of familiarity and home.

On your walk you could hear the sounds of police sirens and fire trucks, but it was much too late for them, everything was on fire.

Buildings, shops, offices, either up in flames or ash on the ground. You saw a car in flames explode, thankfully no one was in it.

There were people. People lined the streets, crying, confused, scared and burned.

An old man was laying on the street, his wife crying over him. She was so hysterical she didn't even see you approach, but when she did her jaw dropped at the sight of you, she begged you for help in another language, one you knew only bits and pieces of before and studied in your free time, but you now fully understood.

You said nothing as you looked over the man's burnt face before placing your hands over it, covering the freshly burnt skin. You closed your eyes and let your head fall slightly.

"My child, I will let you heal him, I will let you give the people hope. But you must hurry to find him before he causes anymore irreversible destruction. Stop him, and put the rest in my hands."

You nodded in agreement and opened your eyes and moved your hands. 

On lookers had gathered around you, both the woman and the man thanked you, but you had to go.

"Don't worry, just pray." You told them. You knew they were looking at your wings folded against your back as you walked on.

As you passed Namjoon's burning church you could see him clearly in your head, on his knees on the floor between the pews on prayer as he realized who was just outside right before it went up in flames.

You didn't go inside, it was too late for him, but you knew Jungkook and your son had to be close, you could feel it. You could see their trail of death, torment and destruction.

You closed your eyes and you brought on the rain.

The crack of thunder rolled through the sky before the downpour started, and though it rained around you, you remained dry. It was all you could do in an attempt to end the suffering of the people at the hands of this fire for now. You also wanted to prevent the risk of them making things worse when you found them.

To attract them you began to sing quietly, you sang the song in the language that Jungkook had sang to your son when he was just a baby. Though the lyrics didn't translate well, it was a song about peace and silence and it was in the world's first language. Even back then, you supposed, that parents just wanted their babies happy and they wanted to do right by them. You remembered Jungkook saying when you first met him that that was something he never understood, and still seemed not to.

You couldn't bring yourself to be mad at him, you pitied him. You pitied his lack of understanding towards humanity even with all of his new emotions. He didn't get to grow from a child, he didn't have surroundings or figure to help shape him. He couldn't never be a parent because he never had a parent figure, he was never a child, Jungkook just was. He had just been Jungkook all at once since the birth of time. He only knew being cast out of heaven, he only knew lies, he only new bitterness, revenge, and power. Jungkook only knew destruction and couldn't handle when you had created something for him, given life to something that was partially made from him. Jungkook wanted to own you and your children just like he owned the souls in hell. Even if you give a person emotions who wasn't taught right from wrong or how to be there for people, or how to not be selfish, they might feel guilty. However, they've already become set in their ways seeing as it's all they've ever known. It wasn't Jungkook's fault that he was given this eternal cold life, he never asked for this.

You understood vastly more than you did before, there was no fooling you now, you saw absolutely everything but one way you saw before never changed.

You loved Jungkook. You knew he would've loved you if he could've from the start. You were his soulmate, His Lilith, his reason for not being allowed to have emotions in the first place in fear of producing the Antichrist. Nothing could stop destiny, you knew this now. No matter what god took or gave to him, nothing could've stopped this. Even now as you found Jungkook holding your son's hand as he burns someone alive, this was destiny. Just like Noah's ark, god can cast out and call forth, he can teach lessons or make people forget.

So here you were, and here he was, in the middle of this burnt street. Neither of them saw you yet, but they were doing what destiny called for.

"Jungkook." You spoke his name for the very first time, catching both their attentions. 

"Mommy!" Your elated son tried to run to you but his father stopped him as he was stuck staring at you.

"You're…" his voice was almost inaudible with the roar and crack of the fires that were too big.

You unfurled your white wings from behind your back and stretched them out.

"You're home." 

"Mommyyy! Mommy back!” Your son yelled happily with a big smile on his face as he began struggling against his father and slipped out of his grasp. Your son ran the half of a block down the street and you could now see his horns were much larger now, and his eyes were black. His father screamed for him and began to run after him, telling him not to touch you.

You knelt down and let your child run into your open arms. You wrapped them around him and let him fall limp.

"I love you, everything will be okay." You told him as you picked him up and laid his body on the sidewalk. Much like a cross or holy water, your body itself could destroy anything Unholy, you were blessed from god himself, you were an angel.

"No… no! What did you do to him?! What did you do to our son?!" Jungkook screamed at you making the fire around you only burn more angrily.

"He felt nothing, God will return him to me." You stepped closer to him. "I came for you too."

"No. You're home, bring our son back and come home!" He demanded but you were no longer easily swayed.

"This isn't my home anymore, look what you've done to it." You answered calmly.

"I made this for us, I did this for you." 

You watched as blood began to leak from his eyes and mix with the water from the rain. 

"I know, I know you did. I know that there's no length you wouldn't go to for me, even your son. You mean well, you just don't understand. Just know I would go through any length for you and our family, and that's why I'm here. We both went through great lengths, we've both been through a lot, so come to me."

"You're tricking me, you're going to kill me…" he with his narrowed eyes aimed at you.

"You're in pain, Jungkook. It doesn't have to be that way. God still has time to fix this little isolated incident." 

"And hell? What happens to hell when I'm gone?" He asked. You felt he was about ready to give in, you knew it took everything in his power right now to not come to you and hold you.

"I think that's what destiny wanted all along,  no more hell. We were meant to be together Jungkook, and it's finally time. I'm not tricking you, I could never do to you what you did to me. Let's go get our daughter and son, let's be a family let's-" 

He began to walk towards you, falling to his knees at your feet and looking up at you.

"I don't know where I'll be going, but I'll follow you anywhere" you watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed nervously. "I just want you and my family, I want everything to be okay." 

You lifted your hand to his cheek as you looked down into his black eyes and brushed away the bloody tears from his cheeks only to leave red marks of your own. You had burned him with your touch, and he had flinched but didn't outwardly complain.

He stood and his face came just millimetre from yours.

"Just do it." He whispered before pressing his lips softly to yours.

You brought both of your hands up and placed them on his face and in a split second he went limp against you.

You struggled to gently lay him down on the pavement.

"I'm done. It's done. Fix it, please." You spoke out loud.

"Rest now my child. You've been through so much."

The sky began to grow brighter and brighter until it took over everything and you had to squint to see anything at all.

You were struck with the sudden urge to pee, but you were just too tired underneath your warm sheets. You groaned as you tried to go back to sleep but the feeling became almost unbearable.

You moved the blankets, sat up, and swung your legs over the bed, immediately feeling your back hurt. This action must've woken up the baby inside of you because you began to feel the heavy kicks from inside of your belly.

"I'm going, I'm going." You nagged at the unborn baby as you waddled towards the bathroom. "You better not kick me in the bladder again, girl." You warned.

When you were done you headed to the kitchen with new priorities, you smelled food. Lately just the thought of anything food related had you salivating and reaching for anything edible you could get you hands on, but that's just what being seven months pregnant did to you.

You walked through the doorway just in time to see a few pieces of scrambled egg fall onto the floor.

Your son looked down at it from the stool against the counter he stood on and so did his dad.

"Uh oh." You son said as he looked at you, holding a plate of the eggs.

"Morning darling. We're definitely not making a mess in here." Jungkook lied with a smile as you assessed the damage the boys had done to the kitchen.

"As long as you both clean it up I see no mess." You joked.

"Mommy! Breakfast!" Your son held the plate up proudly, spilling more eggs onto the floor, lucky Jungkook decided to take the plate away from the tiny little version of himself before picking him up with the other arm.

"Tell mommy good morning!" He placed the plate on the table before bringing your son over on his hip. Jungkook knew it was hard for you to bend over now a days.

Your son gave you a wet kiss on your cheek before his father knelt down with him.

"What about baby sister?" His father asked him.

The boy was careful as he gave your belly a hug and pat and told it good morning.

"Morning." Jungkook gave you a quick kiss on your lips before wrapping his arms around you.

"We missed you." He whispered into your ear. "You slept in late, must almost be time for her." He let you go so you could all sit at the table.

"I'm excited, but dreading having to through giving birth a second time. We missed church again because of me, didn't we?" 

"Father Namjoon understands you're too pregnant to function at the moment." He jokingly assured you. "I'm excited for her to get here already. I'll be right there with you, and little bub gets to spend time with his grandma. It's all planned out and you have nothing to worry about. Oh, by the way, I finished putting the crib up in the nursery finally." Even as he spoke about mundane things, there was a sparkle in his soft brown eyes as he looked at you, there were so wide with excitement and wonder, a trait he passed to your son. You would never get enough of him, you hadn't been able too since you met in grade school. You even found yourself missing him deeply to the point of tears during college. When you saw him again one night at a bar, the two of you just couldn't help it. You were confident that was the night you made your son together. You were once again inseparable as inseparable gets. He just stayed over every night after that night, which was good because you didn't want him to leave anyway. You were married just three months after that night at the bar. He wanted everything you wanted, he was the man you had always dreamed of, you had never loved any other person the way you did him. You had always had a connection with him, one you felt went far beyond when you met him as a little wide eyed boy asking to be friends. You knew, both of you did, that you were soulmates.You had always had been and always would be, in this life, whatever lives came before this, and in the next.

[yeojaa]

( TEASER / nine to five. )

When you spend five days a week, eight hours a day with someone, you’re bound to grow close.  You just hadn’t expected it to be this close. 

pairing.  lawyer!kth x it support f!reader.

genre + rating.  it’s gonna be a workplace rom-com, folks! general (for this teaser, anyway).  

tags / warnings.  technological ineptitude, flirtatious banter, idk. 

wc.  0.8k for this teaser. undetermined full story.

beta reader(s).  @hobi-gif​ because who else? i love you! 💕

author note.  i realised that despite tae being my #2, i... do not write nearly enough about him. so after the results of my milestone survey, y’all get this! 

— coming 19/12/20 !

Kim Taehyung:  I’m losing my mind Kim Taehyung:  How do I sync this document again Kim Taehyung:  Tell me it’s not gone forever 

The message pops up on your screen, flashing orange in your taskbar until you click through to it.  You’re not surprised to see it, the familiar name bringing a smile to your face.  Smart as he could be, Kim Taehyung was absolutely hopeless when it came to technology, sending you more emails in a day than most people did in a week.  

IT Support:  Can you screen share?  I can take a look.

It’s your usual routine.  He somehow messes something up (either doesn’t save his brief or deletes an important document or has managed to completely muck up his web browser) and you come to the rescue.  It doesn’t matter that he doesn’t email you - makes it hard for you to track all the issues he has - but you don’t mind.  

The two of you have built a solid rapport over the last two years, bonded by his technological ineptitude and your endless patience.  

Kim Taehyung:  Can you pop over?

This isn’t out of the ordinary either.  (And you certainly don’t mind it.)

(You wouldn’t even deny it if someone asked - pointed out your soft spot for the honey-haired junior associate.  Everyone knows your firm has a habit of employing good-looking people.  It’s just a common known fact, something even echoed by other firms in the city.)

(Kim Taehyung exists in a league all his own though.  Makes even the best looking of associates look somehow less.  Like comparing your average California orange with those immaculate hundred dollar watermelons from Japan.)

IT Support:  Be right there.

He looks good today.  Better than good, actually.  The best he has in weeks, months.  (You’d argue today’s look rivals that one three-piece suit of his.  The green one that stands out among the sea of black and navy blues, that sets him even further apart.

“Knock, knock,”  you greet in place of actually knocking, slipping into the glass enclosure of his office.  

Relief floods his expression, trademark smile spreading like wildfire across his face.  It splits his expression in half - a Christmas gift unravelled to reveal neat white teeth.  “Thank God.”

He doesn’t even bother to move from his chair, simply rolling back to allow you access to his setup.  As always, it’s neat, looseleaf stacked together to the left, water bottle half empty and stationed beside his desk phone.  A familiar mug is pushed against the wall, drained of liquid.  (It’s the mug you’d gotten him on a whim last Christmas, tiny tiger emblazoned over white ceramic.)

“I don’t get how this is a regular occurrence for you, Tae.”  You have to give him a hard time - just a little bit - because he manages to lose his documents at least once a week.  

“Technology sucks,”  he retorts with a laugh, utterly unbothered as he scrolls through his phone.  He trusts you to do what you need, paying you no mind as he taps through news articles and catches up on social media.  

(One day, you’re going to set his background to a bee hive.)

“You game.  You love technology.”  

“Video games are different from this stuff.”  

“Or you just don’t want to learn.”

He meets your stare then, catches it over your shoulder.  “Why learn when I have you?”

With anyone else, you might be infuriated.  Bothered that you’ve got to waste precious time dealing with his baby IT issues when he could simply be a little more responsible.  (You’ve got an organisation of hundreds to manage, after all.  You can’t be taking time out of your day for things like this.)

(You won’t stop, though.  You never really say no to Taehyung.  He knows that.)

“One day, that’s going to bite you in the ass.”

“Is that a threat, ____?  I might have to report you to HR.”  There’s something sparkling in his eyes, a beacon that shines bright in the darkness and draws you in, past thickly lined lashes and asymmetrical lids.  You hold his stare for longer than you mean to, jaw working, mouth trembling from the laughter you hold back. 

(He knows as well as you that there’s far more either of you could be bringing to HR.  Stupid silly conversations you hold over Microsoft Teams, dumb pranks you’ve played on him since he’d ingratiated himself into your life upon his hiring two years ago, the almost kiss you’d shared at last year’s Christmas party when you’d both been waiting for cabs to sweep you home.)

(Maybe not the last one.  Your office has always had a surprisingly lenient policy with respect to workplace relationships.)

“Do it and I’ll tell them it was you that pirated that episode of Rick & Morty on work wifi.”

He’s scandalised then, eyes wide, hand laid over his chest as if you’ve mortally wounded him.  “You wouldn’t dare.” 

“Oh, wouldn’t I?”

tag list.  @neverthefirstchoice​ @youwannabelostandnotbefound​ @snackhobi​ @codeinebelle​ @xjoonchildx​​

[guardian-o-the-books]

Some RotG Episode Ideas bc that Potential Animated Series Project Post by @lumin0usfox Inspired Me

(( i haven't read book 5 of goc yet so mega apologies if some of this is off (im writing this with knowledgeup to War of Dreams) and assuming that most people outside of the fandom haven't read the books. im kinda writing it for that mindset))

- Opening episode is Jack and Jamie working on trying to get Jack believers. hyjinks ensue.

- like following the logic that William Joyce has already set that Burgess doesn't really have a specific time. like yeah it's like 2012 but it's also in the past so the Internet isn't really that big of a thing. So they can't just make a blog post or YouTube video and have it go viral. so they focus on more in-person not-offline ways of getting believers

-or idk maybe the technology does exist and a youtube video goes viral and Jack gets a lot of believers that way. the rest of the guardians are just... "is that allowed???".

- I know this is super self-indulgent but can we please have Jamie and North try to teach Jack, Bunny, and Tooth memes please. if nothing else than as a running joke

-an episode of all of the guardians checking up on pitch to make sure he's not trying anything. and since Jack's lost most of his memories this could be where he (and the audience) learns Pitch's past

- at least one episode that's not too much of jack really interacting with the guardians or the kids from Burgess specifically and we kind of get more of a glimpse into what his life was like before becoming a guardian or having believers

-holiday special must include a party at North's. I think this might actually be canon actually. plus sandy goes nuts for the eggnog so that's gonna be fun. Sandy absolutely destroys Bunny at charades.

-an episode where Jack is kinda awkward and still figuring out his role and dynamic with the guardians. like North invites his to spend time at the pole after he learns Jack doesn't have much of a home outside of The Oak of Sorrows and they really confront that whole "u guess abandoned me for 300 years and now we friend and give me a second I need to adjust. maybe they learn about how lonely jack felt or that they didn't know how bad it was."

-episode to introduce Katherine and how she's really come into her role as Mother Goose. maybe she's spent sometime moving on from nightlight. she still misses him obviously, but she's recognize that jack isn't him anyway and i can't imagine her trying to force anything or interfere with his life if she thinks he's happy. if the episode doesn't start with "Once upon a time, ..." then i give up.

- I really can't imagine romance being like a main focus point here but the grounds are kind of already laid for Jack and tooth to get together from the movie. And also because lesbians are powerful and make everything better, Katherine and mother nature could have bonded over their conflicts with pitch and IDK they would be an absolute power couple. Also Sandy is a literal alien, so I don't think he really cares much about human gender roles or standards. Non-binary icon.

- maybe because Jack hasn't been able to talk to the Man in the Moon for so long the Guardians 2 Straight Up take him to the Moon to get closure. This whole event can be like a 2 episode special or something. Maybe this is where Jack learns the night light lore if that would be something that anyone would wanna touch. (i love GoC and I've been a part of the fandom since at least 2016 but damn i still can't think of a non-completely convoluted way of connecting Jack to Nightlight. Maybe something happens after book 5 that causes NightLight to forget about the Guardians when he's in his human form the Guardians don't know who he became when he became human so they lost track of one another. (It could explain why the Guardians don't recognize Jack is Nightlight even though they look exactly alike and act the same and have the same powers.))

- these are all really plot-heavy so what are some light-headed episode ideas?? uhh... let's see...

-Similar to how Bunny has egg hunts and tooth has puting teeth under the pillow, Jack and Jamie try to figure what some tradition for him could be and try to popularize them.

- Jack finds out north used to be a criminal and the Bandit King. it's absolute chaos.

- Jamie has to get a bit more creative with coming up with excuses for why he keeps getting caught talking to the air.

-So what if this takes place a few years after RotG. We can see has Burgess has grown a bit and Jack has to see Jamie grow up a bit and start to enter high school. he still believes in jack of course but it could be bitter sweet plus Jamie at age 14 would be physically the same age as Jack. ~~ Parallels ~~ the inherent existentialism of being immortal, u know, fun stuff (if done right).

-Jack tracking down his sister's family in the modern day to know they're okay and so he can see the consequences of his sacrifice.

-Sophie is Bunny's helper for the day.

-really just a season where jack figures out his place with the guardians and more about who he is. those themes of found family and building trust with those around you. oooh that's the good stuff.

-I know this is ambitious but maybe like the first season could be Jack kind of building that relationship with the Guardians and his new Believers with hints of who he was in the past and then like the second season is the deeper dive into who he was unlike it just gets really deep and oh my God I can't stop thinking about those now.